


The Fire in the Monster

by AvaJune



Series: The Fire in the Monster [1]
Category: Seduce Me (Visual Novel)
Genre: Creampie, Cussing- lots of it, Dark Humor, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fanfiction, I have to keep adding tags cause my mind is filthy, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Light Masochism, Minor Character Death, Minor canon divergence, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Past Sexual Assault, Post-Demon War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sex, Sexual Facial, Shameless Smut, Street Justice, Suicidal Thoughts, Threats of Violence, Vaginal Sex, no actual suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-11-10 12:22:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 36,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11126922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaJune/pseuds/AvaJune
Summary: Mika adores all five brothers and they have been through so much together. They are her family, and recently, they welcomed a new member in when Mika finally married Andrew. But something has been off for awhile now and none of them have seen Mika in person for months.  All the brothers are becoming worried, but Sam is losing it. He needs to see her. What will they find when they finally get to see her face?





	1. The First Embers

"Okay, so no one has actually SEEN her in how long?" 

James glanced around the table at K's diner. He looked to Matthew who stared back with worry apparent on his young features. "I haven't seen her since the wedding, man. And I've only talked to her once." Matthew looked at his lap, feeling guilty. He hadn't even noticed, to be honest, as wrapped up as he was at the Anderson Toy Company. 

Eric had a similar expression, feeling shamed as well. "I did invite our princess to lunch 2 or 3 times since we saw her at the wedding, but she told me her classes were taking up all her time." He sighed. "I didn't really think anything of it until we didn't see her for Christmas." Eric had been busy building his custom tailoring business and his free time was very limited. 

James considered. "Yes, even if she was busy at school, she was on break at Christmas. But she said that she and Andrew were celebrating it alone together this year." James rubbed his temple. "I don't particularly like it, but I felt like we needed to honor her wishes." 

"Except since when do her wishes involve not wanting to see us..." Sam growled under his breath. "Something is WRONG. I can feel it. We NEED to see her." He slammed his palm on the table. 

Damien placed his hand on Sam's shoulder and met James' gaze. "I haven't seen her either. She'll barely take my phone calls." Sam growled louder, his fists clenched on the table. 

James looked at Sam's face, searching his expression. "Sam, I know this whole thing has been difficult for you, but you need to accept..." 

"DON'T YOU FUCKING START WITH THAT SHIT, JAMES!" 

Eric reached a hand between Sam and James. "Sam, calm down." 

"NO, I will NOT!" Sam spat through gritted teeth. "I HAVE accepted that she loves Andrew. I HAVE accepted that they're married." A flicker of pain crossed his face. "I know she's not mine." 

He glared at James, lowering his voice so he wasn't yelling anymore. "Her being happy is enough, okay?!? If she's happy, I..." Sam took a deep breath, steadily quieting the anger down until it was manageable. "But when has Mika ever shut us out before, all of us? Hmmm?" He looked at each brother, searching their faces, looking for any challenge or denial of his words. He found none. 

"This isn't something she would do. Something is wrong, we have to see her, we...I have to know she's safe, okay?" He looked at James, pleading and rage showing clearly in his expression. "Please, I need help! She won't see me, or any of us, if we just ask her. She'll brush it off, like all the other times." 

He looked to Damien. "We need to surprise her, where she can't run, and just make sure she's whole, you know?" He grabbed Damien's shoulder. "That's the only way we can make sure we get answers. And I need you there to make sure we can trust she's telling the truth." 

James cleared his throat. "Sam, maybe we should reach out to Andrew first and see if he can shed some light on this." 

Sam growled even louder. "I already did that...that asshole told me that she was "not my concern." 

Damien snapped his head to the side, eyes wide. "Really?" 

"Yes, really," Sam replied. "Am I the only one who finds that suspicious?" 

Matthew wrinkled his nose. "No man, that's pretty sketchy." 

"I agree." Eric looked to James. "Didn't you say that with Andrew filling the new VP role, he seems to be struggling with the new level of responsibilities?" 

James looked uncomfortable, starting to doubt his assertion that Mika was probably just busy. "I did say that, but I hadn't really made any connection there." 

"Well, there still may not be." said Matthew. 

Andrew had not been any of the brothers' idea of a good match for Mika, but in the end, she seemed happy. Damien had even confirmed she was, watching a gentle fondness bloom in Mika's heart for the man. Andrew had an edge to him, something deep inside that all the boys found unsettling, especially Damien. But he was always on guard when Damien was around, and generally avoided the demon if he could. He was very proficient at keeping his mind blank, and what worried Damien is that he felt he had to do that. What was he hiding that was so damning that he could never relax around the mind reader? 

Eric looked down into his coffee, not meeting anyone's eyes. "I know we don't talk about it, but... we are all in agreement that Mika is very different since we returned from the war?" 

Everyone nodded. "I really thought with time, and Andrew, she would be okay." Damien said. "But now...instead, she seems to be shutting the world out." 

Sam looked at his brothers. "But if there is a chance that she's...we have to make sure she's safe...and happy." He looked down. "She deserves that." 

James looked at Sam. He was right, they owed it to Mika. She had been nothing but good to them and they all loved her. She was family. He should have noticed how strange her behavior was sooner. "Alright, let's make a plan." 

\--- 

I stood at the balcony outside our bedroom, wearing nothing but a thin robe over my camisole and worn, flannel pajama pants. My hair was blowing wild in the biting wind, but I hardly noticed. The cold though, that I felt. My feet were beginning to lose feeling and my teeth had been chattering for 10 minutes. But at least I actually FELT something. 

After coming back to the human realm, after my time in the Abysmal Plains, nothing was the same. Andrew was not the same, and I definitely wasn't. I was sure that sending the boys while he stayed behind had made him feel more than a little emasculated. It did not escape me that the other incubi's wives had come, so it obviously wasn't impossible for a human to make that journey. He stayed in the human realm anyway, and I could only guess why, probably afraid of what he would find in the plains. In all honesty, I didn't care. His willingness to let others rush into danger, while refusing to do so himself, was not entirely uncharacteristic, although I hadn't learned it yet. Even in business, he was paranoid and heavily invested in self-preservation. I had no delusions that Andrew would come traipsing into the Demon Lord's castle (or so I told myself). It was funny how blissfully happy I had been to be marrying and building a life with Andrew, while never bothering to see past the image he projected. Well...it didn't take long for that image to shatter to pieces after he had claimed me for his own, legally. I often wondered which he had wished to posses so deeply: me or the marriage license? Did he love me or simply want all the little extras that came with me as a package? Before the Demon War, I had never considered it. But when he hadn't come for me, hadn't tried to save me, I realized that my usefulness to him was limited. After all, a marriage to the heiress of Anderson Toys secured his future, but how much that was worth was debatable when faced with the unpleasantness of the Demon Plane. I was pretty sure he loved me, in his own way. The way one loves a classic car or a collectible long sought. Andrew wanted to possess the things he loved. But who was I to judge him for complicated emotions? At least he felt something. 

It was 3 days. 3 days in the Demon Lord's castle, 3 days in chains, 3 days of knives, of fire, of violation, but only 2 days of screams and tears. After the second day, I just abandoned my body. My soul hovered on the ceiling, seeing the atrocity below me, but not registering it. Apparently, one of Diana's soldiers (of all people) had sensed me passing through the shadows and tried unsuccessfully to rip me from the imps that took me before I arrived in the ruler of the demon world's hands and bed. When the boys came, they fell through that rip. 

The one who came for me was Sam. They called him "the brute," but despite the rage in his eyes, his hands were gentle as he removed my bindings and pulled me, still in my sweat and blood stained wedding dress, against his chest. As I snuggled into him, I assumed this was a hallucination. But oh, it was such a nice hallucination, so I clung to him all the same. I was vaguely aware of the carnage we walked by, demons and imps torn to shreds for standing between Sam and the room I was kept in. Later, I learned that the rest of the brothers, as well as Diana, were fighting the Demon Lord at the very moment Sam was making a path blazed in blood to save me. 

Sam had grit his teeth the rest of the hours we spent in the Abysmal Plains. He wouldn't look at me, and while it hurt, how could I possibly blame him? What happened was disgusting, and it was only normal for him to be disgusted by it, and by me. After all, it was his own father's doing. I understood perfectly, on the rare occasion the shame broke through the constant numbness. It was sad, it took the trauma of what happened to realize who I really wanted to be with. But it was a little too late for that. So, with no real reason not to, I did what was expected of me and married Andrew. 

The boys had fought their way to save me, so for them, I smiled, pretended that I still had a life to live. I smiled as though I was so happy to be marrying the man of my dreams. I kept my thoughts focused on the cake, the flowers, the music, and when required, I called up an older memory of Andrew and spoke into my mind, so that Damien would hear. "I'm so happy." 

Then I started to steadily distance myself. I knew I had been exactly what they needed when they came here, 2 and a half years ago. They thought they owed me something. But the only real emotion I had left in my heart was my love for them. They had fought so hard to rid themselves of the demon plane and I sure as hell wasn't going to drag them back there with me in my mind, because a piece of my soul would always be trapped there. So I slammed the door on my gilded cage and waited for them to go away and give up. They would go live their lives, the ones they deserved, and I would stay here until the lights in my eyes finally went out. I found it was not an unhappy thought, to simply cease to exist. 

I had loved Andrew, before all of this. I had been reasonably happy. But now...I was too broken and he was too angry. His work was too much for him, it was obvious to me. He really wasn't built to be that far up in the company. Too much responsibility was filling him with rage, and all of the controlling behaviors and the verbal assaults weren't enough anymore, apparently. Andrew, who hated his father, slowly became a mirror of his image. His jealousy of the brothers went from a small spark to a roaring fire, especially Sam and Damien. Mostly it was pushing and throwing things, but lately things had deteriorated. There had been a few smacks, and more than a few times I got thrown at a wall or onto the floor. On New Years, when I thought I was alone, I had quietly and with wistful tears toasted the boys, even though they weren't there, as I had done for the past 2 years. It made me feel close to them, even while knowing what I had to do. Andrew saw me and he snapped, pushing me to the wall with his hands around my neck. He had stopped before I passed out, but then he shifted his hand to the back of my neck and dug his fingers in until I yelped. There was a lot of yelling and my arm being twisted in ways it certainly wasn't supposed to be before he finally stomped off to bed. After, he apologized, said he was drunk, please forgive him, never again, the usual. I gave him a hollow smile, accepted the flowers, and walked away. I still wore the bruises under my hair, the fingerprints darkened now to a sick purple and yellow. I watched him escalate over time, but did nothing to prevent it. This was not headed to a pretty end. There were barely any glass decorations left in the house because they were the first place he vented his anger on. He tried to cut me down, told me all sorts of things in an attempt to lay me low. Somewhere in my mind, I was vaguely aware this should bother me. But, when I tried to feel the outrage, to feel the sting of his words so I could respond in kind, I felt nothing. With the boys gone, there was simply nothing left.


	2. Kindling

James stood at the Mansion door, waiting for Mika to answer. The brothers had decided that James was the best candidate to get in the door, since he could reasonably be wanting to talk to Andrew. The fact that Andrew had been sent to a last minute dinner with a potential new client was not something James would necessarily know (even if in this case, he arranged it.) 

"Who is it?" came Mika's voice from the other side of the door. "It's James, Miss. I was hoping to have a word with Andrew. It's important." 

James heard shuffling on the other side of the door, before Mika's voice rang out once more. "He's at a dinner with a client. He isn't here right now." 

James tried not to be hurt by the fact that he was talking to Mika through a door right now, because she wouldn't open it to him. Mika, who he and his brothers had lived with for a year. Mika, who he considered his sister. Mika, who he was responsible for, just as he was responsible for all his brothers. 

"Mika, please?" James placed his hand on the door, wishing he could reach out and ruffle her hair with that hand instead. "You know it's an hour commute for me and I really have no choice, I have to speak to Andrew tonight. I tried his phone, but it appears to be turned off." (Or Matthew lifted it while I told him about the dinner. One of the two.) "Could I please just come in and wait for a bit?" 

James listened, hearing silence for so long he wondered if she had simply retreated into the house without saying another word. Finally he heard the deadbolt slide, and the door opened. He stepped in and closed the door behind him before he turned to Mika with a smile. His arms were already rising to hug her hello when he stopped, shocked into stillness for a moment. 

Mika was sick. All the hopes about her being busy deflated and slammed to the floor. Her lips were blue and her top was almost see through. Her feet were even more blue than her lips. Her hair was tangled and flat, lacking it's usual shine, and her eyes, which roamed the room to focus on anything but him, were dull. Large swatches of bluish black painted her face below her normally beautiful eyes. James' mind flashed with the image of a porcelain doll falling and shattering to pieces. That was who stood in front of him, the fragments of a once vibrant girl. 

"Mika..." James said, his voice barely a whisper. After hearing her name, Mike turned on her heel and began to walk back into the inner rooms of the mansion, away from James. 

"No, Mika, wait!" James said, moving to go after her. Mika's pace quickened and as James strode to match hers, she broke into a sprint into the backyard. "Mika, stop! Mika, your feet, don't go in the snow like that, their already..." And she bounded out the door. 

"Damn it!" James cursed under his breath, trying to catch her without terrifying her. "Uzaeris! Aomaris! Zecaeru! Izroul!" 

\---------- 

I ran. I wasn't really sure why, the damage was done after all. James would report back that I was not, in fact, okay and then they would all show up and demand to help me and the sad truth was, they couldn't. That's why I stayed away from them. I was a lost cause. 

But why did I open the door without changing then? Honestly, the plan was to let him in, send him to the sitting room, and disappear with some excuse. I had been so nervous to hear him at my door that I forgot how I must look. Well, his widening eyes had told me exactly how I looked and based on his face, I must look like a lunatic. Running away from him probably wasn't doing much to dissuade him from thinking I had gone mad. 

Maybe I wanted someone to SEE me. Was this a cry for help? If it was, I was doing an exceptionally bad job at asking for it. 

I vaulted over the back stairs, landing with my numb toes in the snow, and I kept running. I didn't look behind me, didn't consider how there was no way I was going to out run a demon, I just sprinted for the forest. I had barely been eating and hadn't trained in months. I was unbelievably out of shape, and I started seeing black at the edges of my eyes, my body threatening to give out when faced with this brutal and sudden ordeal. But the adrenaline still kept me going, for now. My only goal right now, this second, was to put off looking James in his face for as long as possible. I felt a pulse behind me and with a glance back saw the unmistakable bright light of a summoning. 

Sam. Super Speed. Fuck. 

I didn't even get my head turned back around before I ran straight into Sam's arms. For a moment, just a few seconds, I felt my body relax in the safest place in the five worlds: Sam's arms. So warm, so safe. My last thought before I passed out was how ridiculous it was that I was constantly fainting into one of their arms and wondering when that became my normal. 

\--- 

Blood. She smelled blood. 

Her eyes fluttered open to a familiar scene, although not a welcome one. Chained to a bed, feather soft and damp, from a disgusting mixture of sweat, tears, and that red, coppery liquid that leaked from more than one open wound. One of her eyes was swollen shut, but her other could see the filthy room around her. 

Belatedly, she realized the scene she would be reliving of the options that lived in the murkiest part of her mind today and groaned. So many hands... 

Every part of her body was being rubbed, pinched, and prodded by the roaming hands of the imp demons. This was their reward, for bringing her to the Demon Lord. Their fingers and claws caressed every part of her, inside and out. Suddenly, she felt her mind slam into a golden haze, so fast that every nerve she had throbbed as her back arched and she panted heavily. The Demon Lord pushed the enthrallment further, making every touch feel overstimulated, every finger a prickle of pain. That wasn't even a power he should have, as a Brute Demon. She had no idea where he got it, but he certainly didn't need another weapon at his disposal. 

The Demon Lord looked to the shadows and gestured to her body, showing the person there the way she writhed and whimpered. "Well, what do you think? Isn't she just deliciously sensitive?" The Demon Lord leaned in and licked up her leg, from her ankle to the inside of her thigh. She shuddered with disgust, arousal, and pain. From the shadows stepped an all too familiar figure. 

Her eyes met his as he smiled, a grin that rivaled the Demon Lord's in cruelty and satisfaction. Andrew, with black eyes, slid his gaze down my body. "I agree. Delicious." 

I felt myself pitch forward, drowning in his eyes. Only the first breath hurt, and then, everything was quiet. I floated in the void...this was new. 

I heard Damien's voice, the lilt of his words, though I couldn't make out what they said. "Can...me..." 

Hearing his voice was so nice, even if I couldn't sort out the words. Damien, my best friend. Damien, my confidant. Damien, who I hadn't...couldn't...talk to anymore. 

It broke my heart, and tore me to shreds. There was too much I couldn't tell him and I couldn't let him see. Funny, all of the emotions I had tried to kill, that I had managed to hide, they broke free the moment I saw James' face. The jig was up and my plan had failed. Now all I could do was mitigate the damage it did to them. 

Their faces flashed in my mind, before circling back around to just one. 

...Sam...


	3. Sparks

Sam sat against the bed frame, Mika snuggled up against him between his legs. He had a blanket wrapped around them both, and she was pressed to his bare chest in an attempt to warm her out of a cold that seemed to reach to her bones. She had long since warmed up, but still Sam stayed, unable to move her away when he could touch her. Unwilling, too, because something was eating her alive and he hadn't been here to stop it. He shook with rage, off and on, as he considered how long she had been suffering alone. 

But she wasn't alone, was she? 

Andrew. 

Andrew knew. It only took one look at her to know she was not okay. He even told Sam that Mika was "not his concern," and when he said that, Andrew knew she was wilting, shrinking. And he fucking kept her from anyone who would have helped her. At best, he had let her injure herself and devolve into this despair without offering her the support she needed. At worst, he had put her here by his own words and deeds. Hatred, the kind he had never experienced before, surged through his veins as his demon aura roared to life. He had hated the Demon Lord, hated Diana, hated the rapists and child molesters he put behind bars, but never had he hated someone as much as he hated Andrew right now. He felt his anger threaten to consume him, felt his glamour threaten to crumble, felt his muscles grow hot and ache to smash something. 

Mika sighed against his chest. 

With that little noise, all the anger flew out. Mika. His hand ran over her hair, barely touching. Her breath across his chest was the sweetest torture. So close to everything he wanted but he could have none of it. He shook his head. What the fuck happened to her? What happened to her smile and her laugh, dancing around her husband at her wedding? He had seen the strain, but hell, she had just been through a shit storm that no one should have to deal with and here she was, beautiful and dancing. He thought she was taking her world back. 

Sam had been a goner after the first night, the very first time his lips touched hers. He had been in the human world long enough to have some respect for humans. Not a lot, but some. But when he kissed her and tasted her energy, he realized the part of him that he never knew he was missing was standing in front of him. She tasted like home, a true home. But that left him scared in ways he never had been before, and he wouldn't own that truth yet. Andrew got to her first, saw how amazing she was, and didn't hesitate to grab her as soon as he could. Sam was still trying to get his head to stop spinning when Andrew swept her off her feet. 

He hated it, HATED it. Seeing her smile with him, see her fall in love with him, it almost destroyed Sam. But when he reached the bottom, he built himself back up and built the love he had for Mika into the only love he could have with her: the kind that ensured her happiness, even at the sake of his sanity. Above all else, he wanted her to have everything she wished for. So he let them be. He savored every hug and smile he got and silently starved for more as Andrew held her. He offered up the pain as a sacrifice to the love he had for her and he protected her by never telling her that. When it got to be too much, he'd disappear into the woods and jump from boulder to boulder, punching the rock's unyielding surface until his knuckles wept blood. His brothers knew he had feelings, but only Damien knew how deep they ran and Sam was eternally grateful he never told a soul. 

When Sam's father snatched Mika and drug her off the demon realm, Sam thought the rage and fear would consume him. Tearing the imps and demons in the hallway apart limb by limb had been so satisfying. It felt good, finally, to vent the rage. But then he reached the end of the corridor, his hand shook as he reached for the handle. Please...please...let her be alive. When he opened that door though, and he saw her...he couldn't think about it. He couldn't visit that memory, not if he wanted to stay strong right now. Seeing Mika like that, knowing who did it and why, failing to protect her, had shredded his soul. 

\--- 

A half an hour more passed before Damien came in and pulled a wooden chair to the bedside, looking at Mika thoughtfully. Sam eyed Damien. "What is it?" 

Damien shook his head. "I don't know yet. But she's about to wake up." Sam pulled her hair out of her face and watched her eye lids flutter open. The first thing she did was look up at him and smile, her heart and soul laid bare in a genuine happiness. It was fleeting, but it was there before she remembered where she was. "Sam." He sent a prayer of thanks up to whoever allowed him that smile, and filed it away with the rest of his moments with her. 

"Hey, Doofus." Sam grinned down at her, trying to act non-nonchalant and give her some time to catch her bearings. She was still half-asleep and she'd have to answer all sorts of questions soon enough. "Hey Mika," said Damien, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. Mika smiled at him, still groggy. "I'm sorry to do it like this Mika, but...what are the things you don't want me to know?" Mika's face paled as she realized he had caught her off guard on purpose, making her memories flood into her thoughts unchecked. Damien's eyes went wide before he stood up, knocking the chair behind him to the floor with the force he used to push himself upright. Mika looked panicked. "Damien, no! Whatever you are thinking, no, it's not what you think." Damien still stared at her. With 2 quick strides, he was by the bed and he quickly swept her hair to the side. Sam couldn't see what he was looking at on the back of her neck, but he saw Damien's eyes turn deadly and black. His words came out like ice. "Tell me again that it isn't what I think. " Mika flinched and Sam placed a hand on her lower back. She jumped and Sam moved to pull his hand back, but to his surprise, Mika grabbed it and pulled his hand to her lap, encasing his big hand in her small ones. 

Sam looked to Damien. "What the fuck is going on?" Mika squeezed his hand and whispered to no one imparticular. "...no..." 

The bedroom door swung open and Andrew strode in, taking in Mika sitting between Sam's knees, wrapped in a blanket together. His face filled with fury. "What the he..." Before he could take another step, Damien lunged for his throat.


	4. Ignition

I saw it in slow motion. The door swinging open. Andrew's face turning red. The hate that flooded him as he took in Sam holding me. And Damien, moving way too fast, to slam Andrew up against the wall, held aloft by his throat. The "No!!!" that forced it's way out of my mouth was already too late and I knew it really wouldn't have stopped it anyway. 

Sam wasn't moving, and seemed to be wrestling with his thoughts, trying to decide whether to stop him or not. My brain flooded with possible solutions. Only one might get everyone in this room out alive. "Raestro!!!" 

James got over his shock quickly and drug Damien off of Andrew. Andrew collapsed to the ground coughing and spasming. Damien shook James off and lunged at him again, forcing James to put him in a head lock . By then, Matthew and Erik had made it up the stairs. Matthew moved to help James restrain Damien, and Erik immediately moved to help Andrew. 

Damien shook with anger. "Don't fucking touch him!!!" 

Eric stopped in his tracks, and everyone turned in unison at Damien's outburst. No one spoke as Damien took deep breathes. Sensing that he was calming, James released him from his head lock but kept a hand on his arm. 

The eldest's voice rang out, clear and authoritative. "Someone needs to tell me what's going on. Now." 

Andrew hadn't moved an inch, though his breathing was back to normal. He was a mouse in a nest of snakes and he knew it. 

Damien stared me down. "Is it because you're still in love with him?" I felt Sam stiffen behind me, heard the low growl he was trying to contain. 

(No, it's because I don't want to drag you all down with me.) 

The second thought came without me meaning to think it. (Because I don't deserve any of you cleaning up my messes.) 

Damian looked like I struck him. He quickly composed himself, some of his anger dissipating now that he knew I wasn't trying to protect Andrew or make excuses for him. "Show them Mika." 

Matthew looked between us, concern growing in his eyes. "Show us what?" 

I gave an involuntary shiver. "Damien..." 

"Mika, it's okay. Just show them." Damien wasn't going to let it go, but he wasn't going to leave me by myself either. He forced a small smile. "I'll help you keep everyone alive, just show them." Andrew shivered just a little at the implications of his statement. 

I could feel Sam shaking behind me, almost like he already knew, his control slipping inch by inch. I faced him and leaned forward. 

"I'll show you, Sam." I let my forehead rest on his chest and placed my free hand on his leg. Any other day he'd be blushing like a maniac, but not today. "But please...PLEASE don't lose control." 

Closing my eyes tightly, I pulled my hair to drape over my shoulder, exposing the back of my neck. 

\--- 

Sam felt her head rest above his heart. The air was still, a room full of demons standing on the edge. Sam knew whatever was coming was going to make him very angry. So he tried, with all his might, to remember that Mika asked him to remain calm. Mika asked him. Mika. 

When she pulled back the curtain of hair to reveal the bruises on the back of her neck, his world stood frozen for a moment. He lifted his hand and ghosted over the marks before he could process why he was doing it. Sam was verifying it. That was a hand print, a man's hand print. All of the brothers stepped forward, in slow motion, and Sam saw the moment of understanding as it dawned on each of them whose hand had made that. As they turned in unison, ready to rip his limbs from his body, they found an empty room where Damien and Andrew should have been. Sam heard the car turn over and the tires begin to peal out, rubber burning in a desperate attempt at escape. None of his brothers could catch that car, but Sam could. Sam could bring him back. Sam could make him bleed. Sam could make him beg. The demon in his chest roared to come out and play, to make Andrew suffer for all the time that was stolen from Mika, the time Sam could have been trying to make her happy. He could make Andrew pay for every bruise on her body with ten of his own. 

But as the car fled, Mika wrapped her arms around him, her forehead still pressed flush with his chest. Her plea was clear. 'Don't!' He shook all the harder. What she was asking was fucked up. Manipulative. Unfair. But did she even know what she was asking of him? No. To her, he was just Sam. She didn't know how deep his love ran, how she was asking him to betray her and fail her in order to give her what she wanted. It was too much. He shoved her into James' arms, and ran out the back door, roaring loud enough to make the ground shake. He ran in the opposite direction of Andrew's car. And he died inside just a little more, for her. 

\--- 

For a little bit, it was almost like the brother's lived with me again. After an hour or so to calm down, James and Matthew headed to the kitchen to make dinner. Erik drew me a bath, complete with a glitter bath bomb and candles, and forced me into the bathroom. He stood watch at the door to ensure that I was pampered whether I wanted it or not. When I came out in my robe, he sat me down and brushed my hair out, before leaving me to put on clothes and head down to dinner. Damian had slipped off by himself, but he knocked on my door to let me know dinner was ready and walk me down. He held my hand the whole way, and he sat beside me through all the questions that came after, answering the things I wasn't ready to put a voice to yet by relaying what I told him without having to speak a word. 

In the end, James (with his brothers chiming in) told me in no uncertain terms that we were family and hiding out while I slowly slipped away was completely unacceptable. He talked me into going to see a therapist to talk through things, one who was demon friendly and wouldn't doubt my story. Through gritted teeth, James asked me what I planned to do about Andrew. I wanted to keep them out of this, but as that was no longer possible, there was no reason to keep secrets and I told him in no uncertain terms I would seek a divorce. James gave me a small, thankful smile, while Erik let out a long breath I didn't know he was holding. I felt bad that James would still be working with him, but I saw a quick glint of sadistic pleasure pass his eyes when he told me that working with Andrew wouldn't bother him at all. Matthew made me a plush bunny, floppy and adorable, to cheer me up and help me sleep. He told me with a wink it was "something to cuddle." I hugged the toy to my chest and thanked him. 

Everything else could be figured out tomorrow. James would call me in the morning to make plans for the therapist. Damien agreed to stay over in a guest bedroom for the night, just in case Andrew came back or something happened. As everyone went their separate ways, I went to my own room and was forced to face the uncomfortable truth I had been trying not to think about. 

Sam hadn't returned yet. 

Before going to bed, I knocked on Damien's door. When he answered it, I asked him for only one thing. He nodded before wishing my goodnight and watching me walk back to my room. 

"If he comes back, tell him everything I can't."


	5. Slow Burn

Damien didn't sleep that night. He rested, waiting for Sam's thoughts to come back. It was a little after 3 in the morning, when he heard them. Sam was on the roof. 

\--- 

Sam swallowed half his beer in one gulp, feeling the cool liquid soothe the raw clawing in his throat. He had roared himself hoarse. The anger, the pain, had been too much to handle. He had burned a path through the forest, mowing down trees and anything else that couldn't move out of the way. He was covered in small cuts he couldn't be bothered to heal, where branches and and roots had tugged his skin. He had fed on his rage and burned it out of him. Now it settled in his belly, a slow burn that no longer threatened to erupt at any moment. He saw two hands reach over the side of the roof, followed by the head and torso of his youngest brother. Damien said nothing and lay down next to Sam, leaving the six pack to sit between them. 

Damien opened one and took a drink. "She told me to tell you everything you wanted to know." They lay in silence for awhile, Damien waiting for Sam to decide what he wanted to ask. 

"How long?" 

"Since the wedding." 

Sam looked over at him. "What the fuck?!? Why the hell would a guy never lay his hands on a woman and then start that shit right after the wedding?" 

Damien shrugged. "He's been controlling and mean spirited for awhile now. But it wasn't just right after the wedding, it was after the demon war. It was after she came back to him, but in YOUR arms." 

Sam smirked. "Well, he should have had the balls to go get her then." 

Damien gave a small chuckle. "I don't disagree with that." 

Damien paused and blushed for a second, debating whether to tell Sam or not. "You wouldn't think to ask this but...she's still a virgin." 

Sam was very quiet, as his mind tried to make sense of that statement. "Damien, that's not even possible..." 

"I know what you're thinking, so let me explain quickly. I don't like talking about this." 

Damien blushed even deeper. He had heard Mika thinking about this at dinner, and she seemed like she wanted Sam to know (for a specific reason that made Damien feel even more flustered.) She'd never ask him, but she had hoped he would tell Sam. This was way out of his comfort zone, but Mika had been through enough. He'd do anything to make her life easier. 

"Well, if it's forced it isn't your virginity regardless, but even so, our Father never got that far. He had plans and we interrupted them. He talked about it to her, making it sound horrifying, but you got her out before he could do what he wanted." 

"As far as Andrew," Damien continued, happy to be off the subject of the Demon Lord for a moment, "Mika wanted to wait until they were married, and then when they did get married, she had just gotten back from the Demon Plane. She told him she needed time, and he hasn't asked since." Damien shrugged and relaxed onto the roof, glad to have that bit over. 

Sam took another drink and was silent for a few minutes. He had so many big questions, and none of them were easy to ask. 

"Why did she shut us out?" 

Damien paused. "Because she didn't want me to see the truth." 

Sam eyed his brother. "That's not what I meant." 

"I know." Damien sighed. "Sam, he had her for 3 days and 2 nights. She's not a demon, she's a human. And he was...very angry with us. He vented that on her." 

Damien grit his teeth. "She dreams about it sometimes. I saw it earlier when she was passed out." 

Sam felt like someone punched him in gut. "But that doesn't answer..." 

"She thinks she deserves it!" This was touchy territory for Damien, his own wounds still too raw. But he tried anyway. "She thinks that she's damaged now, that she is tainted and has no worth." 

Sam opened his mouth to object, but Damien put his hand up to stop him. "It's not rational, Sam. She's struggling, a lot. And she feels like she owes it to us to have a good life, since we risked our lives for hers." 

Damien took another drink. "Since she feels like she can't do that, that her life is inherently flawed now...she put on a show for us at her wedding and figured with time, the distance would be normal." 

Sam was dumb struck. He couldn't process this. He had imagined it was because she was mad it took them so long to reach her, maybe that she loved Andrew so much that whatever he did, she excused it in her mind. But the fact that she had hidden herself away not to disappoint them, not to burden them. How did she think this would end? 

Damien hesitated, but then he answered the silent question. "She figured eventually Andrew would get mad enough to kill her." His voice was thick. "And she thought that would be for the best." 

Sam couldn't breathe. His brain couldn't process this. She was supposed to be in love with Andrew. She should have been able to trust Andrew. He wanted to be the one to hold her, to help her get her life back, to keep her safe. But he gave it away to Andrew, for her happiness, for her fulfillment. And instead she suffered alone. 

Sam's eyes filled with tears that would never spill, sobs that would never break. Slowly, he swallowed them back. "How does she feel about me? Can I fix this?" 

Damien didn't speak. Sam growled, trying to be patient. This was hard for Damien too. "Does she know I'm in love with her?" 

When Sam looked at his brother, he saw Damien struggle, the words literally clogging his throat. A few minutes passed, with Sam fighting hard to keep a hold on himself. 

Finally, Damien broke the silence. "She developed feelings for you in the Abysmal Plains. She always loved you, but the same way she does me, and the others. That changed when you came for her..." 

Sam had no idea how to feel. But Damien wasn't done. "But when you saved her, you couldn't look at her. You couldn't talk to her and..." 

Sam almost shouted, "What the hell! Damien, I...!" 

Damien held up a hand and Sam bit his tongue, the blood coating his mouth, in an effort not to speak the words bursting from his chest. 

Damien wouldn't look at him. "She believes that what our father did taints her and...makes her repulsive in your eyes." 

Sam was speechless. Emotions rocked his body, made him physically shake. Guilt, elation, regret, love, pain, and most of all, a deep sadness. Damien knew he needed to be alone to figure his head out, so he thanked him for the beer and left Sam to his thoughts, climbing back in the window and heading to the guest room. 

\--- 

When Sam finally climbed down through the window of the mansion, he made a beeline for my door. He didn't knock, and he didn't pause. He flung the door open, and damn near slammed it behind him. I shot up in bed, looking around in panic, and then surprise. I saw him walking towards me, with a look of absolute determination on his face. 

I turned towards him. "Sam, what's wro...?" 

His chest slammed into me, stealing my breath away as he pulled me down in the bed, his body melting into mine. He buried his face in my hair and pulled me up against him in one swift movement, his arm immovable, hand splayed on my lower back. He left no space between us, his arms rigidly ensuring not even an inch would exist to separate us. I could hear his heart beat, fast and strong. When I finally remembered how to breathe, I inhaled his scent, felt drunk on it. His body had been shaking earlier, but not now. There was no insecurity, no doubt. He was a rock and an anchor. My head tingled as he talked into my hair. 

"You...are...not...tainted." He rumbled each word, stating a fact, no allowance for arguing. "You are not damaged, and you are not broken." His hand rubbed slow circles on my back, calming me, soothing the tattered soul within me. "My father...is a MONSTER." He swallowed hard, obviously struggling to contain his rage. "HE is tainted and HE is damaged. Andrew is a COWARD, and WEAK. But you..." His voice shook for a moment, before resuming just as strong and sure as before. "You are fucking pure. You are the brightest light I have ever seen." 

Tears filled my eyes at his words. Sam, my other best friend. Sam, my first kiss. Sam, my demon. Sam...my love? Yes. That was true. I looked down inside me and wondered, when did that happen? When did my heart change? I was so busy hiding all my pain, all my sorrow, and numbing it all that I failed to notice how my heart became his. Was he saying he loved me too? But then, why...? 

I whispered softly, "Sam, you wouldn't even look at me, when you found me in that room. How can you say those things when you couldn't bring yourself to speak to me..." 

Sam's voice cut through mine, coming out in a rush, with so much conviction that I couldn't dare doubt him. 

"BECAUSE I WAS GUILTY!" Sam yelled, his voice rasping with the effort. "He took you because of me, because of us, because you sheltered us and cared for us when we were dying and lost! I couldn't get to you for 3 god damn days! You wouldn't have been there except that we came in and fucking ruined every hope you ever had, destroyed everything, and then FAILED TO PROTECT YOU!" 

His words were tumbling out, what he had held in pouring into the air around them. "Malix, my failure! Diana, my failure! The imps, my failure! The Demon Lord, gods, even Andrew, my fucking failure!" 

He looked down at me, his eyes wild and full of sorrow, his composure lost, leaving only an untamed, desperate incubus in it's wake. 

"And now, I am here with you...knowing I'm guilty, knowing how far I have fallen and all the fuck ups I've made, and I still know, in that selfish demon blood that pumps through my veins, that I would do it all again, just for one smell of your hair, one look of your eyes. I still love you, even though I am the asshole who ruined everything." 

His voice so deep, so husky, sent chills running up my back making me shiver against him and making him groan and bite his lip. "I haven't tasted you in 2 years, Mika. So much shit has blown through your life, most of it our fault. And I still, selfishly, hopelessly...I still want to make you fucking love me." 

His thumb moved up to trace my lip, just like the first time, and again, a heat sank through my chest. But this time, there was no enthrallment. His green eyes flashed gold and back, but he didn't try to sway me, didn't try to manipulate me. His jaw was clenched so tight, it looked like he would break the bones. He was still, the strongest man I've ever known, starving and doing nothing to sate that hunger, even as a banquet lay before him. 

My life had been decimated more times than I could count in the past few years. I was damn near crazy right now, vulnerable, in no state whatsoever to make a good decision about what I wanted to do with this. So I stuck to the two things I knew for sure. The first, that my body was responding and craving him, something I hadn't felt ever, with anyone else. Tears were streaming down my face, I could taste them as I licked my lips. Sam shuddered when I did, shaking from the restraint, and I ran my hand through his hair hearing him growl through his teeth. I pulled his chin down, and brought my lips just a breath away from his. His eyes dilated ever further and he whined. It made me smile, just a little. I hadn't meant to, but I had caged a beast for 2 years. It was time to set him free. 

The second thing I knew for sure... 

"Aomoris...I already fucking love you."


	6. Gasoline

"Aomoris...I already fucking love you." 

She called his name. Mika called his name and his barely leashed control on the demon within snapped at her call. Sam roared for the hundredth time tonight, but this time it was different. It held the desire of a million memories. He roared for how she smelled when she walked by him, he roared for hugs where he forced himself to let go, he roared for the hunger that ached at him. After her lips, he hadn't let the incubus out again. He fed the Rage Demon, and starved the incubus. But tonight, he would have his fill. 

He slammed his lips on hers hungry, aching, pressing every part of her to him, pinning her to the bed. Mika moaned in his mouth and he savored it, bit her lip begging for more and getting exactly what he wanted. Slowly, he let the enthrallment build in her. He ran his hands down her curves, pushed his hands to caress her bare ribs, her stomach, her hips. Mika arched into him and he growled, clawing lightly and hearing her moan louder. 

Sam smirked at the discovery. "Mika..." 

She shivered at the purr, looking down to meet his eyes. He could see so much lust in those eyes, so much need. It sent a jolt through his body and he almost forgot about savoring her as long as he could in favor of taking her right...now. 

"Do you like a little pain with your pleasure?" He lightly clawed her ribs again, this time swallowing the shameless moan that burst from her at the feeling. He leaned up and ran his tongue across her ear. 

"Mika...tell me. If you don't tell me, I won't do it..." He teased her, his breath tickling her ear, feeling her wriggle and whine underneath him. 

She started to answer, "Y-yes, Aomoris, I..." 

But at the sound of his true name, he nipped her ear lobe, making her lose her voice in favor of another pleasure filled sigh. Sam wanted more, soooo much more. But first, even has he growled in frustration, he pulled back the enthrallment. Mika still panted underneath him and she looked at him confused. 

Sam brought his forehead to rest against hers and took a shaky breath. "He told me, Mika, that you haven't..." He blushed crimson and cleared his throat. 

"O-oh..." Mika managed to squeek out, feeling her own cheeks grow hot. 

Sam took a breath. "After I kissed you, I just couldn't. So I...um...fuck, I suck at this..." He let out a growl of frustration. 

Mika giggled. "Sam...Aomoris..." Mika paused long enough to hear his breath hitch when she said his true name, music to her ears. "I want you, all of you, and I want to give you all of me." 

Sam's eyes flared back gold with a vengeance, and Mika felt the magic fill her and roll through her body again, gasping at the heat and need. One minute she was wearing her nightgown, the next it was in tatters on the floor as Sam ripped it off her body. 

"I'll buy you a new one..." he said, with a satisfied smirk. When she tried to reply, he attacked her lips and pulled her breath from her lungs. She opened her mouth to breathe, and Sam welcomed the invitation, kissing her deeper and exploring every inch of her mouth. One hand cupped her cheek while the other slowly crept up her side, before cupping her right breast. Sam listened to her whimper in pleasure before bringing his hand up to gently rub her nipple between his finger and thumb. 

"Oh Aomoris..." She said his name as she buried her face in his shoulder, clinging to him as she felt the pleasure run down her body. She yelled, her voice full of lust, when he pinched her, just a little rough. He growled in reply before pulling her up on her knees and flipping her so that her back was against his chest. At some point, Sam had taken off the rest of his clothes, but Mika had been too distracted to see it. Now, she felt his naked body pressed up against her and she groaned. 

She was drowning. "Please, please...stop teasing. Please, touch me." 

Sam brought one hand up to gently stimulate her breast, feeling her nipple peak in his palm. He slowly brought his other hand across to her stomach and steadily moved lower. He smirked and traced her ear with his tongue. 

"Well, since you asked so ni-" Sam's words died in his throat when he reached her folds, feeling her so ready, so wet. He moaned and buried his face in her shoulder. "Fuck Mika, you're killing me..." 

As he slid his fingers into her, he felt her clench around him and she arched in pleasure. He could feel himself throb in response and he fought not to bend her over right there. Instead, he pulled his fingers out, allowing the wetness to cover the path of his finger, before making circles around her clit. 

"Oooh, Sam..." Mika groaned, each sound blending with the next and Sam picked up the pace. Mika could feel the pressure building, as he brought her higher and higher closer and closer. He began alternating, dipping his fingers inside her, and Mika threw her head back. 

"Oh Sam, I'm...I'm gonna c-" 

Sam put his mouth to her ear. "Mika...scream my name when you cum..." 

Mika tumbled over the edge, and as she flew she screamed for him, from the most primal part of her being, "AOMORIS!!!" 

Sam shook from the heady jolt of power, hearing her scream, feeling her cum on his hand. But he waited, letting her come down, before laying her back and kissing her deeply. He wanted to give her a minute, he wanted to ask her one more time if she was sure. But all those thoughts faded as she reached between them and plunged her own fingers inside her. Mika brought them out, the wetness stretching between her fingers, and rubbed him from his base to his tip. He growled, feral, needing to be inside her, right now. 

Mika smirked at him. "What are you waiting for, demon?" 

Sam ramped up the enthrallment, to make sure she would feel only pleasure, before nudging her open, so slowly, inch by torturous inch. She rolled her head back and closed her eyes, but he wasn't having any part of that. 

He grabbed her chin, and told her to open her eyes. "Look at me, Mika." 

He kissed her hungrily as he slid the rest of the way in. Slowly, he worked himself in and out of her, waiting, until finally she begged. "PLEASE!!!! More, faster, Aomoris..." 

With a raw growl of pleasure, he slammed forward. She screamed as she arched her back, trying to pull him deeper. He pumped in and out, feeling his release building, feeling her moving towards hers with him. 

He met her eyes as he approached his peak. "Mika...are y-you mine?" 

Her eyes looked up at him, full of love and trust. "Yes, S-sam..." 

He was about to go and she was coming with him. "Say it." 

Mika screamed for him again as she exploded underneath him. "I'M YOURS!" 

Hearing those words in her voice, feeling her tighten around him, Aomoris slammed forward one more time before he was blown away by the rush of euphoria and energy.


	7. Stoking the Flames

As the morning sun harshly invaded my bedroom, I let out a groan and quickly closed my eyes. 

"Oh for fuck's sake..." I mumbled under my breath, turning over in the sheets so my face wasn't in line with my window. However, my eyes opened again as I rolled face first into the wall. 

(What on earth...) Oh. This was not a wall. This was a muscled chest connected to a painfully handsome, currently drooling, perfectly disheveled Sam. I was confident I had makeup raccoon eyes and a bird's nest where my hair should be and here he was all Adonis like and blissfully dozing. I tried to bring myself to be annoyed at the universe for dealing me another shitty lot, but then my eyes got distracted tracing down his chest, across his abs, skating over his happy trail, all the way down to...Oh my Lord, he was still naked. OH MY LORD, I WAS STILL NAKED. 

I launched myself from the bed wrapping myself in a bathrobe and thanking the powers that be that Sam was a heavy sleeper. Despite what happened between us last night, I needed a shower and moment to collect my thoughts before facing this day. Plodding along to the bathroom, I passed Damien in sweatpants and a black tank headed downstairs, undoubtedly for his daily caffeine fix. Demons shouldn't even need caffeine, but woe to anyone who stood between Damien and his coffee. 

Damien smiled happily at me. "Good morning, Mika." 

I studied my feet and blushed a little. "Morning." 

(Oh God, don't think about sex with Sam...) 

Damien's eyes widened a bit and he choked on his own spit, while I smacked my forehead and cursed whatever spiritual entity was supposed to keep me from making an idiot of myself. Anytime now, would be GREAT. 

"Ummmmm..." 

Damien chuckled. "It's fine, Mika. So long as your happy." 

He resumed his walk to the kitchen, but before he disappeared he called over his shoulder, "But maybe finish up reveling in the details during your shower. I'd rather not listen to just how dreamy Sam is while I'm trying to eat my eggs." 

And with a self-satisfied grin, he was off and I was glaring after him. Although, the man did make a valid point... 

I rushed off to the bathroom and looked into the mirror, steadying myself. I forgot I didn't even have on makeup yesterday, so thankfully I was wrong about the raccoon eye look. I was, however, achingly on point with my concerns regarding my hair. Opening and reaching around the glass shower door, I turned the water on, hot enough to slightly burn on my skin. I let the robe fall to the floor before stepping into the hot spray of water, closing the slightly frosted door to the shower behind me. After letting the water run over my body for a few minutes, I began to work the knots out of my hair, slowly but surely brushing my fingers through. I tensed for a moment, imagining a thumping sound in the hallway, before shrugging and continuing my finger's descent from my scalp. Before I could even process what I was hearing, I heard two doors slam in quick succession before the bathroom door flung open and I turned around to the sound of Sam growling. His voice quickly quieted as he became aware of my presence, his eyes sliding over my silhouette through the frosted door. 

His hands landed loudly on the glass of the shower, ratting the door a little and I jumped at the sound. "Meep!" 

I heard him taking big, deep, steadying breaths. After a minute, I slid the shower door open ever so slightly and peeked out at him. 

"Sam?" 

He didn't look at me, but he took one more deep breath, before saying, "I woke up and you weren't there...I, kind of, like, overreacted, I guess." 

He rubbed the back of his neck looking a little embarrassed. "Sam..." 

I opened the shower door a little more and reached out my hand to rub his cheek. The touch made him tremble and he locked his arms against the glass. 

Surprised, I asked him, "Are you still hungry?" 

He laughed, but it sounded more like a pained bark. "Honestly? I don't know if I'll ever have enough of you to feel satisfied." Still, his eyes met mine with a half grin. "Hungry, no, not really," he said. "Needy though...?" 

It was my turn to laugh. I felt my shyness melt away and felt rather silly for ever worrying at all. "Relentlessly, if you're anything like me." 

He chuckled in reply. I grabbed his hand and pulled, opening the shower door the rest of the way. Pupils dilated as my body was exposed, his eyes becoming half lidded. Sam let me pull him in front of me and slowly, I undressed him, taking my time to run my fingers over each new part of his body as it was exposed. I didn't hurry or try to invoke a response, I took my time, pampering him and making him purr like a cat. Gently, very gently, I tugged him into the shower with me and pushed, fingertips on his chest, until he stood under the water. 

Sam's eyes remained relaxed, sometimes closing for a time, and he allowed his usually tense and aggressive nature lapse into passivity. The trust of allowing something like that for a man like Sam was staggering and for a few moments I basked in the warm feeling that gave me. I turned him so his back was to me, and watched him lower his head so the water ran over his neck, one of his hands braced on the shower wall in front of him. I rubbed my coconut body wash between my hands, letting the steam draw the comforting scent out, before reaching up and running my hands across his shoulder blades. I heard a soft sigh of contentment as my fingers pressed hard on his shoulders, working against the knots that felt as if they had been embedded there for years. 

We stayed in the hot water, me rubbing his back, neck, and shoulders, working through some of the kinks, for a long time. Long enough that I began to question how much hot water we had left as I turned him to face me, snuggling into his side. His hands came up to hold me to him and a growl of contentment rumbled in his chest. I stepped away from him slightly, long enough to get more body wash before rubbing it between my hands. I ran my soapy hands over his chest, feeling his nipple harden under my attentions, before moving down to his abs. He was slowly getting hard and I let my hand dip down to the lower V of his stomach, feeling the sharp inhale of air as he watched my hand, seemingly captivated. I rubbed my hands together one more time to build up a lather, before looking up at him and making a circle between my thumb and index finger around the base of him. His eyes quickly looked to mine, then back to my hand, bouncing between the two until I brought my hand up and with the lightest pressure, began to stroke him. 

I moved slowly, feeling his dick harden and twitch at the feather touches I was giving him. Sam made a move to reach for my breasts and I pushed him, hard, into the tile wall of the shower, placing his hands on my hips, but keeping my distance. 

"No touching, Sam." His confused face made me giggle. "I just want to concentrate on you, okay?" 

For a moment he looked ready to argue, but as my hands touched him again, he bit back a groan and gave in to my demand. 

I continued my slow teasing for a few minutes, but then I remembered I was supposed to be relaxing him, not frustrating him. Oh well, what can I say? Old habits die hard. I started to twist my hand and pick up the pace, listening to the way his breath shuddered, staring up into his eyes. Occasionally, I would tear my eyes away from his to watch his abs work, his legs tightening as he neared his peak. When I knew he was almost there, I dropped to me knees and watched his eyes darken at the sight. I was still using the coconut soap as lube, so while oral wasn't much of an option without pausing for a rinse, but there was another thing I could do on my knees that blissful and dirty. 

I looked up at Sam, purposefully blinking innocent Bambi eyes, which just made him smirk and begin to thrust into my hand. "Where do you want to cum?" 

I helpfully ran a finger across my cheekbone, trying to make it look innocent. I'm not sure if it worked or not, but Sam's smirk dropped as he moaned and buried one of his hands in my hair, lifting the other to push my hand off and stroke himself. He curled his wrist to position me better and I yelped at the little pleasure pain that came from him pulling my hair. He was on the edge, and he forced me to meet his eyes just a moment before, verifying that I did want him to mark me as his in this primal way. I found it deliciously degrading and objectifying, especially because my own need was completely ignored, my clit aching and throbbing as it was given no attention. 

 

I heard the desperation in my voice when I answered him. "P-please..." 

With that Sam stroked himself hard another 3 times and then came all over my face. I felt a rush of pride, followed my little pang of shame, that for some reason, tasted like sugar sweetness to me. Sam gently helped me up to admire the sight of me covered in his cum, before gently cleaning my face off and kissing my forehead. He turned me around so my back was against him and gently spread my thighs with his knee, holding me up with one hand and using the other to rub between my legs, everywhere but the one spot that really needed attention. 

"I feel like this throbbing is getting you off more than actual getting off would right now." 

I bit my lip and whined a little, before nodding my head. I didn't realize I was so transparent, that kind of kills the "mysterious" vibe. I didn't have much of one to begin with, but still. 

"Doofus, I think you may be a bit of a masochist." I flushed and he smirked. 

"Well, I certainly feel like you are being sadistic with all that rubbing, if that's what you mean," I grumbled. He was so god damn smug. 

A bright chuckle brought me some general relief, glad to make him happy. "Don't worry, Mika. You'll definitely get to cum tonight. But, in the meantime, maybe we'll see just how wet I can get you before you beg me to finger you already." 

I moaned, a deep sound filled with apprehension and desire. He moved to hold me, let me settle in his arms. "Don't worry beautiful, it's just to try, okay?" 

God, I loved this man. All sadistic teasing before gently switching gears to check up on me and reassure me before going back to Sex God mode. 

I sighed, "Yeah Sam, I hate to admit, but yeah. It sounds delicious." 

He gave my butt a little pinch, then he smiled at me. "Speaking of delicious," he purred to me. "Breakfast? I'm fucking starving." 

My stomach answered for me. "Yeah, but maybe some clothes first." 

Sam ruffled my hair. "Ahhhh, clothes are overrated." 

Charming, infuriating man. 

\--- 

Ahhh, how easy it had been to pretend my life wasn't a disaster while I had been wrapped in Sam's arms. But now, the bitter light of morning shone, and everything was as it was yesterday, the only difference being now I had lost my protective armor of numbness and someone (or someone's) was actually watching me to ensure I didn't just give up and roll over. I sighed, nibbling the edge of a crispy piece of toast. Well, that sort of thinking wasn't particularly helpful, but it seemed I had a lot of work to do and very little inclination to do it. Depression doesn't disappear overnight, not even when something divine, fabulous, and ridiculously sexy entices you to want to live. 

So. My old life plan had consisted of barely existing until my husband lost control and killed me or I succumbed to malnutrition. I hadn't asked, but I was pretty sure the boys would not consider either of those a good option. So new plan: 

First, call a lawyer. On second thought, call James, ask him for the name of a good lawyer. He worked as the CEO of Anderson toys, those higher-ups were constantly getting married and divorced. I had a prenuptial agreement, because of James insistence, much to Andrew's chagrin. But without a doubt, Andrew would show up with some sort of hard hitting representation and I'd rather have a competent professional handle it than be subject to Andrew's venom and demands unprotected. 

When I talked to him, James told me he would look into it and call back at lunch. I hung up and moved to the next item that needed addressing. 

Second, call the therapist who's number was on my answering machine this morning. James said she was a half-blood, the love child of an incubus and a human woman. She was well aware of demon affairs, and would be able to help her without doubting the existence of the demon world, as most therapists understandably would. 

She scheduled me for her next available, a week from Tuesday, her office conveniently enough only 5 miles away. Perfect. 

Last step on the agenda for today was registering for classes. I damn near flunked last semester, but I hadn't been overly concerned about it. If I didn't get my grades up for the Spring classes I'd end up getting booted. Considering that I was going to be busy getting divorced and trying to keep my life out of the gutter, I opted for all online courses. I was more likely to pass if I could go to class in my pajamas. 

Sitting in the dining room table with my laptop in front of me, I was halfway through signing up for classes when I heard a key in the lock on the front door. 

Suddenly ice filled my veins: Did I throw the deadbolt? I couldn't remember. I jumped to my feet and backed away towards the kitchen. My silent question was answered as I heard the door swing open and Andrew bellow through the house. 

"MIKA!?!?!" 

As quietly as I could, I backed into the kitchen and pulled out my cell phone. I couldn't just summon one of the boys, it was Thursday for God's sake, they were all at work. They couldn't just disappear in front of someone's face. I could hear Andrew stomping around, and I knew I was trapped in the kitchen. So I slipped outside and skirted the house. When Andrew stepped out the door, he wasn't alone and the other man was not someone I recognized. Suddenly, the strange man turned his head as if sensing me and locked eyes with me. With a chilly smile, I saw him point to me, and a line of lightening came barreling towards me. I barely side stepped to avoid it. 

Okay, not summoning an incubus at this point seemed like a likely fatal mistake. Knowing that at least Sam would be on edge today with not being here to watch me, I quickly ducked around the side of the house and shot off a text message while running. 

"Andrew. Has a guy with lightening. Get in cover, 15 seconds. Need you, he tried to kill me." 

I ran back through the front door beginning the slow count in my head while I flitted through the hallways, trying not to draw attention. 

(One...two...three...)


	8. A Forest Fire

(Five...Six...Seven...) 

My cell phone vibrated and I glanced down as a text message flashed across the screen. 

Sam: DO IT NOW 

His name came out as a relieved sigh, "...aomoris... 

A flash of bright light was followed by the sensation of rushing wind, before I found myself dumped unceremoniously on the couch in the study. His eyes flitted over me briefly, verifying I was none the worse for wear. Sam pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, before he turned on his heel and I caught the briefest glimpse of his eyes before his back was to me. I shivered at the look of smoldering hatred I saw there. 

When he spoke, his voice was a hiss. "Lock the door, Mika. And don't open it again." And then he was gone. 

I quickly moved to do as he said, before crossing to the wall opposite the door and sliding down to the ground. Well, this was just lovely. 

I thought it was safe to assume Andrew would be angry with me for any number of events yesterday (Sam holding me, Damien choking him, his life being threatened, etc, etc,) but bringing a mad man with lightening at his fingertips to our doorstep seemed a bit melodramatic, even for him. Although I suppose he might have considered that tit for tat, seeing as I had demons with an assortment of powers at my disposal. But they were personally involved, I certainly didn't hire anyone to try to kill him, in fact, I had tried to keep him alive! Not that he deserved it, apparently. 

I was suddenly blinded by a white light, causing me to grimace and raise my hand to my eyes. Once I saw it fade behind my eyelids, I saw Mr. Lightening glancing around at the bookshelves and Andrew, looking a tad dizzy, appeared to be getting his bearings. I scrambled to get my legs under me and stand, and about the same time I was successful, Andrew spotted me. His face twisted into a nasty sneer and he lunged. Whenever he had come at me, I had never fought back, not once. I hadn't had the energy or the presence of mind to care what he was doing, much less make a move to stop it. So I surprised both of us when I pulled the lamp off of my grandfather's old desk and clocked him in the head with it. He went down hard, out cold. Before I could decide whether to run towards his new best friend to attack or away to attempt to escape, the man snapped his fingers and I was wrapped up in cords. They bound me into a sort of cocoon and as I started to topple over, he snapped again and I felt perfectly balanced. 

I looked down, and said the first thing that came to mind. "Wait, are these silk?!?!" 

He laughed heartily as he took a step toward me. "My, my, aren't you an interesting creature." 

He circled me, seeming to study me at every angle, and I took advantage of the situation to briefly do the same. He was stunningly handsome, now that I got a good look at him. Baby blue eyes, bow mouth, with a chiseled jaw and a figure to match. He was about head taller than me, and his sunglasses were pushed up to nestle in short, blond locks. (Wait, are his tips frosted?) All this cherubic detailing stood in dark contrast to the tight, fitted black t-shirt that hugged his upper body, followed by dark, denim skinny jeans and black, leather biker boots. He finished his appraisal and took a step closer, his face a breath from mine, and studied my expression closely. 

I felt my temper strain a little bit. "Can I help you with something?" 

I said it with an indignant lilt to my voice, but if he noticed, he didn't show it. "You're kind to ask, but I'm quite fine." He smiled with devastatingly perfect teeth and took a small step back. "I suppose introductions are in order, my name is Raphael. And yours?" 

He half bowed, a strangely formal gesture for the situation. 

I sighed, a bit exasperated. "Didn't he bother to mention my name before dragging you here?" 

Raphael perched on the arm of a chair and crossed his legs delicately. "Unless you often go by Bitch or Whore, no, he did not. I assumed those were simply pet names." 

Another smug smile...fantastic. 

"I'm Mika. Perhaps next time, learn someone's name before you attempt to murder them." I shrugged as much as I could in my current predicament. "Just a small constructive criticism." 

Raphael dismissed me with a casual wave of his hand. "Now, now, no one was murdering. That little jolt would have knocked you out for a day, two tops." 

Before I could tell him exactly how I felt about his little 1 or 2 days comment, a voice sounded from the hallway. Sam was at the door. "Mika, it's me." 

Raphael sighed. "Oh Dear, this does complicate things a bit." 

At the sound of a voice not belonging to me, the door came flying off it's hinges, exploding into the room. Honestly, he looked pissed, but seeing me in restraints took pissed to furious in a nanosecond. Before either of us could say anything, Raphael clapped and a cage of blueish energy snapped over my and Sam's head. Sam's fist quickly descended on the barrier, his glamour slipping as he fell head first into rage. 

Raphael ignored his snarls and smiled indulgently at me. "I suppose with this turn of events, the cords are a little superfluous." 

Another snap, and I was released and began to drop gracelessly to the floor. Sam caught me, his arm wrapping around my waist. His eyes never leaving Raphael as he gave me a gentle squeeze. 

Raphael looked between the two of us and smiled even wider. "VERY interesting." 

Making me startle a moment at the quick movement, Raphael jumped to his feet and gave a little stretch. "Well, I should be headed out now. I'll leave it to Andrew to explain our little impromptu drop in." 

He pulled something out of his wallet. "Mika dear," Raphael drawled, Sam growling protectively beside me. "I'm going to place my card here on the desk, please peruse it at your leisure. After meeting you, I do feel myself rather disinclined to complete Andrew's request, but alas, a deal is a deal. Judging by the demon at your side, though, I suspect you might be able to offer me a very nice buyout option." 

He brushed invisible dirt from his pants, then snapped his fingers again, and all traces of him, save for Andrew, disappeared. 

Sam looked bewildered, "What the fuck was that?!?" 

I shrugged, leaning on him heavily. "Damned if I know." 

Sam nodded his head toward Andrew, looking altogether a bit too smug about his current state. 

"Did you do that?" 

"Yep." 

He growled and nuzzled into my hair. "That's my girl."


	9. Third Degree Burns

Mika looked dead on her feet, and though she tried to hide her absolute exhaustion, Sam was having none of it. He knelt down to pick her up and she didn't even squirm, snuggling into his chest. Sam smiled broadly and thought to himself how adorable she was like this, especially without the tension that comes from being nervous. It was like they had been together for the past two years, like they should have been, and this was simply second nature. 'And gods, he thought, please let me have her long enough that her in my arms is second nature.' 

But looking down on her curled form, Sam's head flashed back to walking down the halls of the Demon Lord's castle with her broken and bloodied body and he almost hit his knees right there. He willed himself not to falter and steadily climbed the stairs, careful not to shake or give away the scene in his head. That certainly wouldn't help anyone right now. 

Sam set her down on the bed and moved to kiss her before her nap, but she was already asleep. He kissed her anyway, and then returned downstairs to deal with the Andrew situation. 

It only took him about 30 seconds staring down at Andrew's unconscious form to realize he was ill-equipped to "deal with the Andrew situation." He doubted Mika would approve of any of the ideas currently running through his head (still pretty stuck on the limb ripping) but before his sanity could slip, he decided on a simple hog tie and gag. Then he practically sprinted from the room so as not to risk using the ropes to strangle the man instead. He sent out a text, en masse, asking his brothers how soon they could come to the mansion and help him sort out what to do with Andrew and what the hell was up with this Raphael guy. 

Damien, not being under any deadlines for a book at the moment, was able to come right away, as was Eric. Matthew would be over in a few hours, and James would stop by if reports didn't keep him too long. A quick call to his chief and Sam was able to take some of his banked up vacation time that he never touched, and now would be off for a week or two. He realized, belatedly, he should have done that to begin with so Mika wasn't here alone until things calmed down. After berating himself for a half an hour until his brother's arrived, he resolved that no one would ever touch Mika again. He would not fail her. 

\---

Damien and Eric arrived within minutes of each other. Sam handed them the card Raphael had left as they settled at the dining room table. 

"This is it?" Eric asked, waving the card in front of him. "It just says RAPHAEL in all gold lettering and a phone number. What a terrible business card." He huffed, looking incredulous. 

"Should we call?" asked Damien. 

Sam shook his head. "I want to see what we can find out about him first. I put a call into the station, but it's pretty much nothing to go on." He leaned his chair back, crossing his arms on his chest. "The phone's a burner, so...nothing there." 

Eric leaned forward, picking up one the cookies Damien had found hidden in the kitchen and nibbling on it. "Hmmm, I wonder..." Eric looked thoughtful. "I wonder if there would be any information on him in the demon underground." 

Damien paled momentarily. "They did what to this Gustav?" 

Eric waved him off dismissively. "Now now, just a few bad apples, not to worry. Most of them have very strong loyalties, to money that is. So long as the pay is good, they are more than happy to help." 

Sam grit his teeth. "Well, I know a good place to start with all these questions." He gestured behind him with his head. 

His brothers knew his anger was barely contained, bubbling just below the surface and threatening to spill over any moment. Damien knew they had been together intimately now, and when a demon had sex with someone they loved, that cemented a bond even deeper. Sam was likely even more furious with Andrew now that he considered Mika his and his alone. 

Damien shrugged. "Maybe we should wait for James, though. He can do the fear enthrallment best." 

Sam growled and rolled his eyes. "Or I could just hold him off the balcony by his neck..." 

Eric sighed. "Sam... 

"Whatever, he'd be downright fucking chatty." Sam cracked his neck and the sound echoed against the ceiling. 

Damien chuckled at the image. "Well, we should at least go check on him." He glanced at Sam. "Well, Eric and I should go check on him." 

Sam glared at him. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!?!" 

Damien just looked at him and Sam grunted, making a conscious effort to stop thinking about the sound of Andrew's neck breaking when he held him off the balcony. He couldn't help it though. He just kept seeing those bruises on Mika's neck. For the millionth time, Sam was glad he didn't have the ability to read minds. He knew that if he actually saw the fear in her eyes when Andrew hurt her, Sam would have already killed him whether Mika approved or not. 

Damien acknowledged his thought with a small nod, then he and Eric stood to head back to the room. But before they made it into the foyer, Damien stopped and held out his arm. "James and Matthew are here." 

'Oh Thank God,' Eric thought to his younger brother. 'Now James can do the interrogation while the rest of us try to somehow keep Sam from going full demon form and beating Andrew to death with whatever blunt object is handy.' 

Damien tried not to giggle. 

\--- 

Soon thereafter, Andrew sat in an armchair in the study, balking under the scrutiny of 5 angry demons. His bonds had been removed but he was certainly not free to go. Sam was pacing and kept growling, his Aura rippling dangerously despite his best efforts. Damien was quiet, carefully scrutinizing Andrew for the truth in his statements, while shaking from the effort of holding in his rage. Matthew gave the appearance of not paying attention while using a painting of some ancient human battle as a target for his daggers. It was certainly just an idle thing and not meant at all to scare the shit out of Andrew. Eric was in the corner, leaning against a table with both his arms and legs crossed, a grim expression set on his face. And James sat in the armchair opposite Andrew, for all appearances calm and unbothered, with the exception of his eyes, which were black with hatred. 

"So tell me," began James. "Who is Raphael?" 

Andrew hesitated, but seemed to decide that honesty was his best bet here. "He's Nephalem." 

James showed no sign of his thoughts in his expressions, but Damien grimaced and Eric looked alarmed. 

"Nephalem?!?!" cried Eric. His face was doubtful and it was obvious that the thought of this being the truth disturbed him greatly. "No, never. Nephalem are outsiders. They refuse to get involved in the business of any but their own kind." 

Andrew barked a laugh. "Ask the mind reader if I'm lying." Eric looked to Damien who confirmed that Andrew was, indeed, telling the truth. 

"But why would they want to come out of hiding all of the sudden?" asked Matthew. He juggled his daggers, his tongue stuck through his teeth and out of the side of his mouth, in deep thought. 

"It's obvious, isn't it? THIS guy," said Andrew, pointing at James, "dropped the Angel of Destiny into the pits of hell and stone destinies became really fucking hard to find." He smirked. "Did you even think about how that would play out when you decided Dessa was worth the complete disorder of the god damn heavens?!?" 

James shrugged, his face betraying nothing. Iridessa was his wife and the love of his life. Much like his other brother's, James was bonded to her for life and his heart was entirely hers. He would gladly burn the whole world if he had to in order to keep her safe. "What does that have to do with Nephalem and Raphael?" 

Sighing, Andrew rubbed the bridge of his nose. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent on his face and it was clear he was completely worn down. "Well someone had to take the orders and make good on them." 

Matthew snorted. "No way the angels gave a bunch of Nephalem the power of Stone Destinies." He flung a new dagger at the painting, making Andrew flinch. 

"Well, yeah," said Andrew, shifting slightly away from Matthew in his seat. "But that still leaves a rather large market of people unattended and the Angels are always too caught up in their own shit to hire a new guy. So some Nephalem had decided it was time to expand their influence and reached out to seize a new client base. The angels haven't officially sanctioned it, but they don't really seem to give a damn." 

"And I assume Raphael is one of them then?" James said, with a rub to his temple. 

Andrew nodded. "Yep." 

The brother's shared a few glances while they considered. A nephalem handing out stone destinies seemed insane, but Damien nodded silently, confirming the truth of Andrew's story. An uncomfortable silence filled the room, as each person tried to process this information. 

Sam crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "How in the fuck did a little cockroach like you find a Nephalem anyway?" asked Sam. 

Andrew smirked at Sam, a little triumph in his voice. "Well, one day, I drugged Mika's coffee and just waited for her to fall asleep. She's not heavy, it was easy enough to carry her to the study for the retina scan that unlocked that secret desk compartment." Andrew snickered. "With Harold's magic books, what couldn't I do?" 

He pointedly met Sam's eyes, hatred brimming in his own. "Would you like to know what else I did to her while she was passed out?" 

Sam was ready to lunge, but James was closer. His fist connected with Andrew's face, right above his left eye, nearly knocking the chair backwards. James glowered over him, ramping up the fear enthrallment and making Andrew shiver. 

"You will never speak of her again, got it?" James spat the words at him. "Your mouth is too filthy to have the privilege of saying her name." 

Andrew said nothing, his hand holding his bruised eye, and James sat back in the chair. Sam's fists were clenched hard, blood leaking between his fingers from attempting to control it. 

Damien spoke up, causing Andrew to jump. He'd forgotten all about him. "What did you ask for to be set with a stone destiny?" 

Andrew paled, his face still throbbing from the punch, knowing Damien could see his thoughts before he had time to cover them. Damien gave him a wicked grin, his eyes cold and dark. "Really now? That does not bode well for you." 

Sam looked at Damien with suspicion. "What the hell is it?" 

"Shall I tell them Andrew or would you like to do the honors?" Damien leaned in over his knees, as if he just couldn't wait to hear the answer. Andrew let out a little whimper. 

"Coward," scoffed Matthew. All five brothers glowered at him. Finally, Damien stood up. 

"I don't want to talk about this in front of him. Let's tie him up and go back to the dining room." 

"Aww, come on guys, I thought we were pas-" Andrew's voice was suddenly muffled by a clean (thank god) sock and bound to the chair. He looked surprised. 

Sam glared down at him. "Superspeed? Remember?" He leaned in, making Andrew sink and try to disappear into the chair. "The only reason I haven't used that speed to rip your fucking face off and wear it like a god damn Halloween mask is because Mika would be angry with me." 

Sam clamped a hand on his shoulder, squeezing hard enough that Andrew whimpered again. "But the night's still young, my friend." With a final squeeze, Sam sauntered off. 

Andrew said nothing, and the boys left him tied up to think about what he did and all of the things they could decide to do with him.


	10. Singed Memories

All five brothers filed in and reconvened in the entryway. Now that Andrew was not in the room, Damien looked more like he had been struck than anything. Whatever this was, Sam had a feeling it was horrifying. 

 

James sighed, his eyes looking apprehensive. "Okay Damien," he said, "Tell us what it is." 

 

Damien took a breath and seemed to be steadying himself. Sam felt ready to jump out of his skin, his anxiety clawing up his spine. Finally, Damien spoke. "The lightening Mika talked about, it would have knocked her out, not killed her." 

 

Matthew's eyes darkened. "I don't like where this is going." Damien looked up at the ceiling and Sam could see the unshed tears there. 

 

"What was he going to do to her?" Sam asked, his teeth grinding against each other. The youngest brother visibly struggled to find the words, and this was costing him a lot. Damien was burdened not only with knowing things, but seeing them too, which meant sometimes the thoughts that invaded his head were traumatic and devastating. 

 

Finally, he spoke. "At first, Raphael was under the impression that Andrew intended to clean out the house and bank accounts. He told Raphael about us and how he would never get near any of it if he didn't act fast." 

 

Eric shook his head. "But that's not what he really wanted, was it?" It wasn't really a question, Eric already knew the answer. 

 

"No," said Damien, "What he really wanted was an heir, and eventually he told Raphael that. He wanted her trapped with him, tied down to him. He wanted something that she wouldn't be willing to walk away from." 

 

James shook his head. "You don't mean he was going to..." he began. 

 

Damien met his eyes head on before answering. "That's exactly what I mean." 

 

Eric lifted his hand. "Wait a minute, what was the stone destiny for? If all he needed was to knock her out, why would he need anyone's help? He just admitted to drugging her before." Eric looked slightly hopeful. "Maybe there has been some mistake?" 

 

"No," said Damien. "The stone destiny wasn't to knock her out, it was to ensure that there would be a pregnancy. Only Sam knows this, but their marriage wasn't consummated. If Andrew wanted a child to ensure his importance to Mika, he needed to remedy that first." 

 

Nobody spoke for awhile after that. What was there to say? Matthew darted to the kitchen, barely making it in time, before retching and coughing, his head held over the sink. Eric backed against the wall and slid down it looking for all the world like his world had crashed before his eyes. Damien disappeared into the upstairs. But James and Sam stood in the foyer, saying nothing, each running through fantasies and solutions in equal measure. Eventually, Eric stood up to go check on Matthew, leaving Sam and James alone. James spoke first. 

 

"Am I right in saying there is no recourse within the human legal system to provide justice for these crimes?" 

 

"Yeah, you're right. We have no evidence of anything, except maybe the bruises on her neck and even if that somehow got prosecuted, the sentence would be light. He might not even get community service." 

 

James glowered in the direction of the room Andrew sat in. "That's not justice." 

 

Sam nodded. His usual uncontrolled fury was not what James saw in his eyes. The rage coursing through Sam's veins was calculating, dangerous, and ice cold. 

 

Sam met James eyes. "You know what he was going to do her, right?"   
"I know." 

 

"You know that he's shown he will keep coming back until he really, really hurts her?" 

 

"I know." 

 

A silent moment passed between them before they turned together and walked back to the study where Andrew waited. 

 

\--- 

 

I woke up quite some time later. It looked as if the sun was rising outside my window, which I realized with a sigh, meant I slept through the rest of the day and the whole night. I felt an arm around my waist and rolled over to give Sam a kiss good morning, only to find that Sam was not in my bed. 

 

"Damien?" I asked, confused. 

 

Damien opened his eyes and smiled at me. "Oh! Sam is with James, dealing with the Andrew situation. I was staying in the guest room again, but I could hear the nightmares starting and with Sam not here..." 

 

Suddenly, he looked worried. "Well, we used to sleep like this a lot after watching movies and such, you know, just cuddled up. I didn't think you'd mind, I just wanted to make the nightmares better. I'm sorry if-" 

 

I put my finger over his lips and smiled. "Damien, it's fine! I'm glad you came to help with the nightmares, although I'm sorry you had to see them." I snuggled into his chest. "You know I love cuddling with you. You're my best friend." 

 

Damien chuckled at me and pulled me closer. "I love cuddling with you too." 

 

We lay in silence for a little while longer before I could feel my stomach start to rumble. Damien laughed. 

"Breakfast, then?" he asked. 

 

I laughed back. "Definitely." 

 

We untangled and began to head downstairs. When we got to the kitchen, I remembered something Damien and I used to do together when he still lived here. I almost started jumping up and down, and Damien of course knew what I was going to ask before I said it. 

 

"Aren't you a little old for Mickey Mouse pancakes?" he teased me. 

 

I scoffed. "One is NEVER too old for Mickey Mouse pancakes." 

 

He laughed out loud at me. "Fine, fine. You make the coffee and get the table together, I'll make the pancakes." I nodded happily and got to work. 

 

We were just finishing our breakfast when we heard the door open. Sam came into the dining room, looking exhausted, but he gave me a small smile before coming over to kiss me good morning. 

 

He glanced at our plates and smirked. "Mickey Mouse pancakes?" 

 

I gave him a light shove. "Don't be jealous, there's more in the kitchen." 

 

He kissed me again before looking at Damien. A moment seemed to pass between them before Sam walked into the kitchen and Damien returned to his coffee, looking conflicted. 

 

I eyed him warily. "Damien, what was that about?" He startled as if he had forgotten I was there and looked very much like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

 

"What was what about?" he sputtered. 

 

I stood up and walked over to his chair with my hands on my hips. He looked up at me, trying his best to look nonchalant. I glared down. "You know what I'm talking about. What are you two hiding?" 

 

He said nothing, his mouth pressed in a thin line. I knew it was just a matter of time though. Damien had never been able to keep anything from me. Looking defeated, he opened his mouth to speak, but Sam's voice rang out behind me. I turned around to see him in the doorway, mouth full of pancake. 

 

"Thanks for staying with her Damien, you can go home now. I can keep an eye on things from here." 

 

I whirled around, ready to tell him we weren't done talking, but he was already halfway to the door. "Thanks Bro, bye Mika!" 

 

I took a step forward and shouted in protest, "Hey! Wait a second!" 

 

But Damien was already outside, the door settling quietly closed behind him. I turned around and glowered at Sam, but he just laughed around a mouth full of pancake. "You're worse than some of the detectives at the station." 

 

He sat down across the table, looking smug. I flopped down in the seat opposite him with a sigh. "Well, are you at least going to tell me what's going on?" 

 

He shoved the last pancake in his mouth whole. "Alright, alright, gimme a minute!" 

 

He grumbled at me while I crossed my arms and waited for an explanation. After he swallowed, Sam took a big drink of the milk I had sat out for the coffee and then told me everything up until Damien revealed what the stone destiny was for. Suddenly, I regretted eating so many pancakes. My stomach knotted and I felt like my head might explode. I looked at Sam with disgust. 

 

"I almost wish Raphael had been trying to kill me now. This is just...so disgusting." 

 

Sam nodded and reached across the table for my hand. "I get why you'd feel that way." 

 

I felt tears stinging my eyes and I looked down at the table. "Sam, if I ask you something, will you promise to tell me the truth?" 

 

Sam looked a little hesitant, but after a minute, he nodded. "Alright. What do you want to know?" 

 

I tried to sound confident, but my voice came out barely above a whisper. "Is there something wrong with me?" 

 

He looked at me, bewildered. "What do you mean?" 

 

I sighed and pulled my hand back, curling into myself. "All of these really shitty things have happened to me. There was my Dad, then Malix and Diana, the Demon Lord, and finally Andrew. Is the reason these things keep happening because I'm somehow...bad? Or do I do something that makes them want to hurt me? I feel like the only thing in common in all of these horrid things is...me." 

 

I looked down into my lap, tears streaming down my face. I startled when Sam stood up from his chair and walked around the table. He picked me up as if I weighed nothing, before sitting in my seat and settling me on his lap. One hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer. The other started brushing through my hair. He rest his chin on the top of my head. 

 

"For fuck's sake Mika, no, there is nothing wrong with you." He sighed, planting gentle kisses in my hair. "You aren't the things that are done to you and you sure as shit aren't responsible for them. Sometimes, bad people just do bad things. Hell, sometimes good people just do bad things." 

 

He put his hand under my chin and lifted my face so I was looking at him. "You are a compassionate and wonderful woman. I may be an asshole, but you can trust me on this one. You are amazing." 

 

I blushed and he leaned down to kiss my tears away. "Sam?" I asked. He smiled at me, pulling his head back to look at me. "What happened after Damien told you what Andrew had planned?" 

 

The smile disappeared and Sam was silent for a moment. "James and I talked about our options." 

 

I nodded, urging him to continue. "And?" 

 

His eyes searched mine, and he said, "We realized we didn't have any. He was going to keep coming at you until one of you died." 

 

I shuddered on his lap, but I didn't break the eye contact. "Sam, did you kill him?" 

 

He only hesitated for a moment. "Yes, and I'd do it again." I 

 

reached up and gently brushed my lips against his. "I know. And it's the same as it was with Malix. We wouldn't be safe and he was willing to go outside of the human plane to get what he wanted. You did what you had to." 

 

Relief washed over his eyes and he let out a long breath. He pulled me closer. "I thought you might send me away, Mika." His hands shook as he spoke. "I was terrified you would hate me for it, but I had to protect you." 

 

I gave him a small smile. "But you told me anyway?" 

 

Sam closed his eyes. "Yeah, I did." His handsome face looked pained, and it broke my heart. 

 

"But why?" I asked. 

 

He thought for a minute, before answering. "Because I don't want you just for now, I want you for forever. Lying now just hurts us and makes it impossible to have a real relationship until all the nasty truths come out. I don't want any secrets from you." 

 

I snuggled up against him. "Me too."


	11. S mores on a Camp fire

We sat in the dining room for a long time before Sam gently picked me up and carried me off to bed. I curled against his chest, throwing my arms around his neck. I became extremely aware of his big hand sprawled on the back of my thigh, right underneath the barely-shorts I slept in last night. I was constantly surprised by just how GOOD his hands on me felt. It hadn't been that long at all, but I was already craving his touch like air. It didn't need to be sexual, just his hand on my skin felt like I was high. When we reached the bed, Sam set me down and stripped off his shirt and pants, leaving him in his boxers. Damn, he wore "nearly naked" well.

   
He climbed under the covers with me and pulled me against his chest, settling in to be the big spoon for our nap. Both of his arms wrapped around me, one fitting neatly between my chin and collar bone, the other settling across my hips.

   
I knew he was exhausted. I knew that considering what happened yesterday, considering what he did last night, sex was wildly inappropriate. I knew that. I just couldn't find it in me to care.

   
With a wicked grin, I wiggled my body around, pretending to be settling in and getting comfortable. I listened to his breath hitch and then started a slow count to 15. This time, I stretched, dragging my body against his as I deepened the stretch, before curling back into myself and settling my ass firmly back in his crotch. I was rewarded with a stifled moan and feeling his cock twitch against me. My grin widened. Waiting a little bit again, I did the whole settling in thing again, but this time, I pushed my ass down and then back up his cock, before again settling what was now a pretty hard cock against my backside. 

This time he growled and tightened his arms around me. "If I didn't know better Mika," he murmured into my ear."I'd think you were teasing me." On the word teasing, his hand grabbed my hip, pulling me up against him and causing us both to moan.

   
I waved my hand dismissively, and spoke in a authoritative voice, if a little breathlessly. "Please, don't flatter yourself." 

Sam chuckled. "Mmmm, I don't think I am. I think you are definitely trying to seduce me."

   
I laughed. "Oh really now? And what on earth would make you say such a thing?" I silently congratulated myself on successfully toying with him and getting this playful banter started. I was never, ever going to admit to teasing, and that was that.

   
Sam leaned forward and nibbled my ear. "Because I have a wet spot on my boxers that didn't come from me."

   
'Huh?' I reached down and realized I had enjoyed my teasing a little too much and my damn sleep shorts were soaked through. Lovely.

   
What was I to say to that? I opted to forgo any further conversation where I might embarrass myself further and just settle into full blown grinding on his dick.

   
That seemed to have the desired effect, as he forgot all about our little argument in favor of growling and nipping at my neck. Each bite caused me to squirm and each squirm caused us both to moan. By now, there was no twitching in his cock. He was more than ready.

   
I rolled over and kissed him, running my tongue along the inside of his bottom lip. I kissed across his jaw and down his neck, finally biting into his shoulder and feeling myself clench when he let out a throaty moan. 

I looked up at him, stroking his face. "If I recall correctly, I was told I would for sure be orgasming last night. What a disappointment." 

He glared at me for a minute, his face a frown. "Well fuck Mika, I was a lit..." he said. His voice cut to a growl when I reached down and bit him in the same spot. 

I giggled, before feeling my breath rush out in a gasp as he flipped me over and pinned me down. The look in his eyes made me shiver, and I only shivered harder as he began an enthrallment spell and I became a needy puddle of want and longing. Sam undressed me quickly and roughly, before stripping off his own underwear. He then grabbed my wrists in his hand before pushing them up above my head.

   
"I don't want to have to restrain you," he threatened, his face serious and a little frightening. "So be a good girl and wrap your hands around the bars of the headboard. And don't...fucking...move them." 

His voice was strong and assertive and I gave in to his dominance with a happy sigh. Slowly, Sam eased down my front, kissing between my breasts. I wriggled under him but kept my hands firmly in place. His tongue ran lazily over my nipple and I shivered, drawing a laugh from him. Of course, his exhale made me shiver as well and I looked down in annoyance before feeling my back arch and my eyes close as he took my nipple in his mouth. 

Apparently unimpeded by my sense of urgency, Sam languidly sucked, licked, and nipped until I was dying just to have something in me, anything really; hand, cock, tongue, anything he could reach from the bed, I wasn't picky. With one last hard suck and a pop as his mouth came off of me, I panted looking down at his cheeky grin. He kissed down the middle of my stomach before reversing directions and taking my other nipple in his mouth. I cursed and he chuckled, taking all the time he wanted again, and I could feel my body shaking under him. When he brought his other hand up to my already over-teased nipple, still rolling the other one in his mouth, I let out a yelp. After a moment, he replaced his mouth with his hand and looked up at me, surprised. 

"Mika, are your teeth chattering?" 

They totally were.

   
"N-nope!" I said in what I can only assume was a super convincing way.

   
He smirked at me, kissing my neck while now tugging and pulling and twisting my breasts while I keened and mewled and made generally obscene sounds underneath him. "If you want me to stop teasing, be a good girl and beg for it. Beg for my cock and I might give it to you." 

I giggled, but it quickly turned into a moan, so Sam probably didn't notice. That first night I may have been shy, but that seemed a very, very long time ago. He thought that I would be embarrassed? That begging him would make me feel dirty? Ha! I was quickly learning that I was absolutely shameless. Who knew?

   
So imagine his surprise when I moaned out, "Oh please, please, PLEASE can I have your dick?" 

He choked and for a moment it looked as if he swallowed his tongue. Within seconds though, he recovered, his surprise abated and he flipped me onto my stomach reaching forward to wrap my hands back around the headboard and positioning my ass in the air. The position forced my head and chest to the mattress, and he slowly slid into me and I let out a happy little hum. In and out, slow and steady, positively infuriating. 

I huffed and Sam looked down at me. "Oh no doofus, what's wrong?"

   
I glared back at him. Then an idea occurred to me and I had to bite off a grin. My lips formed a pout, before I said, "This is sooooo boring. I don't know what you're doing back there, but if this gets any slower, I'll have to..."

   
*Smack*

   
The room went silent and nobody moved. I could feel the welt coming up on my backside, a red burning in the shape of Sam's hand. 

He panicked. "Shit! I didn't mean to...I never should have...I'm such a fucking idiot." 

Sam was so upset and repentant, so I knew I needed to say something, but I was still trying to make blood go to my brain so I could speak. Finally, my voice came out in a little squeak. "...harder..." 

Sam leaned over me. "What did you say?" 

This time when I answered, my voice was a little stronger. "More and harder..." 

Sam hesitated. "Are you sure that's such a good idea?" I growled at that, impatient.

   
"Yes Sam, damn it! PLEASE!?! harder..." 

He could pretend he wasn't into it, but I could feel his cock twitching in me. I rocked back on him, reminding him what he was doing, and he rammed forward. Gone was the gentle Sam and out roared the demon and oh dear lord how I loved to be jack hammered by the demon. Another smack to my ass had me howling and edging and as if he knew, Sam reached around and stroked my clit, fingers moving in circles, timed to each snap of his hips. 

I could feel myself getting closer and closer, heat surging through my body, and pleasure fraying at my edges. "Please!" I whined. "Please Aomaris, please I want to cum." 

Sam's voice held confusion when he asked, his voice husky, "Please what? What else do you need?" 

We had been doing this dominance thing, and I knew I wouldn't be able to let go without something. My body was a virgin just a few days ago, but frankly, my mind was filthy and if my sexual fantasies were any indicator, I needed the right answer or it wouldn't feel right. This kind of play required certain things.

   
"Permission." I moaned, my voice hoarse, fighting hard not to go over, not to cum just yet. 

Sam's fingers faltered for a second, but hearing my cry of distress, he immediately came back to his previous rhythm, his fingers moving methodically on my clit. 

"Baby, are you asking for permission to cum?" His voice was thick. 

I nodded once, unable to speak, so concentrated on not cumming. He moaned and I felt him pick up the pace, moving both his dick and his fingers faster and pretty soon I was going over whether he told me to or not. I started squirming away, but he stilled my hip, pressing on my stomach lightly. 

"Holy fuck Mika, yes, God yes, cum."

   
I shattered, my back arched almost unnaturally, and I screamed out. Sam stroked me through it, but he never slowed down his thrusts and soon after I came back down I felt him shudder and the feeling of hot liquid entered my body and all I could do was smile.

   
Sam rolled off me to the side before reaching over to spread my ass cheeks and watch his cum drip out of me. "Fuckkkkk that is really...fuck." 

I giggled, causing more to drip out, and Sam moaned. He lay down beside me and pulled my back to his chest, back in the position we were in at the start. Gentle kisses rained over my shoulders and we both fought to catch our breath. 

After a few minutes, Sam spoke. "Baby, where on earth did you learn to ask permission to cum?" He was breathless, a smile playing his face as he snuggled into the back of my neck. I didn't even hesitate.

"Porn."

 Sam made a strangled sound and turned my head up to look at him. "Did you just say porn?" 

He looked shocked, but his cock, which twitched and began to harden against me again, seemed to like the idea. 

"Yes, Porn." I smiled and rolled back onto my side, closing my eyes. "Suzu and I have a rating system and everything." 

Sam's mouth hung open. "...a rating system..." he whispered, almost to himself. 

I snuggled into the pillow. "Mmhmm. You wouldn't believe all the different kinds out there. Trust me, I have soooo many things I want to do together." 

Now fully hard, Sam let out a long moan and a shaky breath. "You're going to be the death of me."

 I was already groggy, dozing off. "You'll die with your cock hard though." 

He scoffed, but then seemed to think better of the idea. "Not a bad way to go." But I was already asleep and if he said anything else, I didn't hear.


	12. Those who play with matches...

I woke up to James' soft knocking, accompanied by a very quiet and very uncomfortable sounding voice. 

 

"Uh, Sam? Miss?" 

 

I giggled and rolled off the bed, pulling on my jeans and a sweatshirt from a few days ago. Sam was still dead to the world and I figured he needed all the rest he could get. Glancing outside, I estimated it was probably late afternoon and briefly wondered where the day had gone. With a light sigh, I left him there to snooze while I greeted James and took him downstairs to the living room. Once I sat him down, I quickly went to the kitchen and made some tea. I brought it back on a little tray with milk and sugar, as well as a few soft sugar cookies. James smiled at me. 

 

"Mika, you seem like you feel so much better," he said. 

 

I nodded, grinning a little into my cup as I took a sip. "I am really, really happy. I mean, I know that depression swings back and forth and I still have a lot of things to deal with. And I will deal with them. But right now, I am just really enjoying feeling whole and safe, probably for the first time since you all lived here." 

 

James reached over and gave my shoulder a squeeze. "I can see that." 

 

He put his tea down on the coffee table and leaned back in the chair, meeting my gaze and holding it. "Has Sam told you what happened with Andrew?" 

 

I felt a rock form in my stomach, but I took a deep breath and answered him. "Somewhat. He said that Andrew is gone, but I didn't ask for the details." 

 

"Of course," James replied. "The details are distasteful and unnecessary. However, we do need to discuss how this is going to go from here. There are a few steps we need to take." 

 

He hesitated for a moment. "Are you okay to talk now or do you wish to wait until Sam can be here with you?" 

 

I rolled my eyes at him. "James, I'm with you. I feel safe with you too, you know?" 

 

He flushed and gave me a big smile. "I know," he said. "I just wanted to be sure." 

 

He leaned forward and took another sip of tea before continuing. "Andrew officially disappeared last night. It is easy enough to say that you two had a disagreement and he stormed out. It would not be suspicious if he did not return today, but after tonight, I think it is important that we go to the police station. We need to file a missing person's report so that nothing seems amiss." 

 

My hands shook a little, but I nodded and gave him a small smile. "Okay." 

 

James studied my face again, looking for something. After a moment, he continued. "When they follow the path he would take from here that is plotted on his car's GPS, they will find him and his death will be ruled an accident. I know it will be hard, but you are going to need to attend the funeral and be his widow, at least for a short time." 

 

I thought I might be sick, but then I really considered. "Well, I spent time in the Demon Lord's bed and time under Andrew's boot. Comparatively, I suppose it's not much of a trial." I shrugged. 

 

"I'm glad you feel that way," James said with a sad smile. "We will of course be there to support you the entire way. Sam will keep an eye on the police investigation, but if any bumps arise, we should be able to use our powers to smooth them over." 

 

That did make me feel a little better. Not much, but a little. 

 

We sat for awhile together, just catching up. He asked me what classes I was taking and if I had set an appointment to see the therapist he recommended. I asked him about Dessa and how the company was doing. In the end, we sat in comfortable silence, sipping our tea and occasionally striking up a conversation about various, small things. I had missed James, I really had. He was the older brother I wish I had, and he made me feel much more guided and protected than my own father had. James always had the potential to be a formidable enemy, his skills from his strict training to become the next ruler of his kingdom ensuring that. But somehow he had managed to become the most protective and gentle ally and friend a person could hope for. I love him dearly. 

 

Eventually Dessa called, jokingly scolding him for missing dinner, and we both realized it was late. I walked him to the door and sent him off with a tight hug and a peck on his cheek. Throwing the deadbolt, I wandered back into the living room, picking up the tray and walking it back to the kitchen to tidy up. I crossed the room to the sink and picked up my tea cup to wash it. 

 

"Honestly, are you sure you chose the right demon, babygirl?" I whipped around, dropping the tea cup in surprise and cursing as it shattered on the floor. Raphael sat perched on my counter, eating a cookie out of the tin I had pulled out for the tea. He smirked. 

 

"That James seems very charming and rational. A little too vanilla for my tastes, but still. You're a little loco, and don't get me wrong, I LOVE that about you. But you and Mr. Cranky can't possibly have any sort of balance." 

 

I glared at him. "God only knows what's on your shoes. Get off my counter." 

 

"Oooh, testy!" he teased, slinking off the counter. "Aren't you going to offer me tea? What happened to our little gracious hostess?" 

 

Moving to get the broom and dust pan, I sighed at him. "Raphael, you weren't invited here." 

 

He just looked at me, arms crossed. I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath. "Would you like some tea?" 

 

"No, I have a strong dislike for tea. Never understood boiling leaves in water and then calling that a drink." He wrinkled his nose. 

 

I looked at the floor, willing a large hole to open up and swallow me whole before I found a way to murder a Nephalem with a broom. 

 

"Why are you here, Raphael?" I asked with as much disdain as I could muster. 

 

"I was wondering if we might take a drive. I have something I would like very much to show you." 

 

He extended his hand to me like we were old friends and he was taking me to the fair or something.   
I looked at him wide eyed, completely incredulous. "You showed up at my house with my abusive husband, tried to knock me out so he could take advantage of me, force me to bear his child, and when that didn't work out, you bound me in rope and put Sam in a cage! Are you insane?!?! We are not going for a DRIVE." 

 

"Not rope. Silk Cords." 

 

"You are soooo not helping your cause." 

 

He huffed. "You do realize I could just force you to go, right?" 

 

I paused, thinking about what he said. "Then why haven't you?" 

 

"Why haven't I what?" 

 

I turned on him and started advancing. He took one tiny step back. "Why haven't you just taken me and shown me whatever it is? If you could do that, why don't you?" 

 

I was face to face with him now, anger making me bolder than was probably wise. "Why haven't you just thrown me in the trunk of this car you want to 'take a drive' in and taken me wherever you wanted?" 

 

He sighed, looking a little downtrodden, and hopped back on the counter. I looked at him, disbelieving. 

 

"Get off the fucking counter!" I growled. 

 

He waved a hand dismissively and slumped his shoulders. For the first time, he looked a little vulnerable. "Listen babygirl, here's the deal. Your estranged hubby? He made a stone destiny. I'm sure you know that already. But yeah, that means it's 'set in stone,' k? That destiny doesn't just disappear because he's taking a dirt nap. But since your rageaholic boyfriend and the ex-demon prince did kill him, someone still has to pay the piper." 

 

I couldn't believe this. I glared at him. "You are not trying to tell me that I am somehow responsible for a deal that my asshole ex-husband made in order to RAPE me. No, you are not saying that, because that would be fucking RIDICULOUS!" 

 

"Ehhh..." he replied, "you say 'ex-husband' but he is, technically, your husband. And a husband and wife are bound to each other and as such, responsible for their debts." 

 

I felt angry tears run down my face. "Raphael, we said to death do us part. He's fuckin' dead. We're parted." 

 

He shook his head. "By human standards? Sure. By demon standards, by angelic standards? Not so much. They hold a human marriage to be a continual binding, unless one of the parties does an actual soul binding, which supersedes the human marriage. And babygirl, they don't have the 'oomph' to do that on this plane." 

 

"You didn't even do it though!" I was breathing heavily, trying not to completely lose my cool. "He didn't get the...the...GOODS he was promised. How the hell am I being handed a debt for something he didn't even get?!?!" 

 

Raphael sighed. "Listen Mika, I like you. That's why I'm here, that's why I want you to see my boss, why I want to find your price. Because without that? The deal WILL be completed and he WILL pay his price. I don't really care too much about what happens to that asshole, but you? You have spunk. I like that. And if this deal isn't dealt with- the way to fulfill it? He's been dead almost a day. But the people I work with, they don't give a shit about you. And they will do whatever they need to. He still has enough body to use and they can make sure there is just enough life to get his seed to take root." 

 

I stood there, speechless for a moment, before turning and retching into the sink. I was surprised when I felt Raphael move beside me, holding my hair back as I emptied what little was in my stomach. I kept dry heaving long after there was nothing left. I kept my head down, still feeling nauseated, but I had to ask him. 

 

"If you're as decent as you are pretending to be, why'd you take the deal in the first place?" 

 

He snorted. "First of all, I'm not decent. Let's just clear that up right now. Secondly, I didn't make the deal, I was assigned the deal and it's my job to carry it out. I wouldn't be able to do this job at all if I got all decent and moral about it. But you, if I'm being honest, you remind me of someone. If I have to, I will finish this to the end. Don't think for a second I won't. But you remind me of that someone, and like her, you've kind of been through some heavy shit. I really don't think you deserve anymore of that." 

 

I scrubbed my face with my hands, trying not to panic, trying not to numb out, trying not to let my legs buckle under me. "Fine. What's the price?" 

 

Raphael released my hair and shrugged. " I don't know babygirl, different for everyone. That's why we need to see the boss." 

 

And just like that, his shoulders straightened and his face was a mask. 

 

"Now, I have places to go, people to bargain with. You call me first thing tomorrow and let me know which path we're skipping down, k sweetness?" 

 

I heard a growl and snapped my head around to see Sam standing in the doorway, eyes staring daggers into Raphael. 

 

Before he could move, Raphael gave him a little wave before looking at me. 

 

"Ciao!" 

 

And in a blinding flash of light, he was gone.


	13. ...Get Burned

The anger and rage rolling off Sam was so strong it felt like it had a physical form, spreading everywhere, filling up the room. 

 

"Sam?" I said, keeping my voice relaxed. "Baby, I need you to calm down. He's gone now." 

 

I took a step towards him, intending to hug him, let him feel safe in my arms and slowly calm down. But when I spoke, his head turned and his eyes fixed on me and I stopped in my tracks. 

 

Fear. Waves of it broke over me, pounding against me again and again, making it hard to breath, hard to think. 

 

"How long was he here?" Sam asked, through gritted teeth. 

 

I fought to speak, managed to find my voice after a few moments. "I'm not sure. Maybe a half hour or so." 

 

His hands formed fists at his side and he walked towards me. I stood, frozen, locked in his gaze and finding it impossible to move. 

 

"He was here...for a half an hour...and you didn't think to CALL for me?!?!" 

 

He growled in frustration, standing in front of me now, less than a foot away. He was so big, of course he had always been, but normally that made me feel safe. Right now though, that felt like a weapon, another weakness that I had, a disadvantage that could be exploited. 

 

His jaw ground together over and over, making a loud and sickening sound that put my teeth on edge. "He put you in god damn bindings last time! AFTER he got done trying to knock you out so Andrew could fucking assault you!" 

 

I whimpered a little, finding myself able to move slightly and using it to press myself more into the counter, wanting to seem as little as possible. 

 

"And you thought that instead of yelling for me, when I was less than 30 feet away, you would sit here and chat with him?!?!" His hands slammed on the counters on either side, effectively caging me in. My eyes widened a bit more and I tried to force my voice to cooperate. 

 

"S-sam... stop this..." I felt tears sting the corners of my eyes. 

 

"What if he had tried to hurt you, hmm? Steal you, take you somewhere and fucking kill you, or worse?!? Huh? Do you think when you told him to stop, he would?" 

 

His demon aura was starting to shimmer off his skin a little as he ramped up, no end to the rage in sight, and for the first time, I was completely terrified of him. I tried to tell myself that this was because he was worried, I tried to tell me that he was trying to scare me so I wouldn't put myself in danger. That he was misguided, but not cruel. I tried to tell myself that even if he lost control, he was still Sam, and Sam would never hurt me. 

 

"Sam... I-I'm not a chi-ild. I can handle i-it." I stammered, unable to look away from him, unable to break his gaze, though I willed my body to with all my might. 

 

"You're going to handle him? A fucking Nephilim!?!" He lifted his hands off the counter and slammed them back down, making the counter shake and my knees start to give out. "You couldn't handle one human asshole by yourself. Or were you just going to let him beat on you, too?!?!" 

 

"Oh..." I whispered, my knees finishing what they started and curling under me as I slumped to the floor. 

 

Sam looked down at me, suddenly seeming to snap back into himself, and he backed away from me. 

 

"Oh shit, oh Mika, I'm so sorry, I... fuck." He looked horrified and his hands were shaking. "I didn't mean that, I-… I get scared of things happening to you and I-… I'm a fucking asshole." He buried his face in his hands, bending over at the waist. 

 

I tried very hard to pay attention, to respond. I tried to open my mouth to speak, compel my body to move, but nothing happened. The numbness spread through me again, and suddenly, I wasn't trying to do anything at all. 

 

Sam stood up and looked at me on the floor. He reached an arm out and took a step forward. "Baby, please, let me hel-" 

 

Before he could take another step, my fear overrode my disassociation and I managed to choke out one word. "Izroul." 

 

Damien appeared in a flash of light, and quickly turned around, taking in the strange scene he'd been called to. His eyes cast around the room, before they seemed to focus on me on the floor and he ran towards me, hitting his knees and wrapping his arms around me. He tried to get me to look at him, but I couldn't seem to focus my eyes. They just rolled away and stared at nothing. That was okay, though. 

 

Anything was okay. 

 

Still looking at me, Damien shook his head. "Her head is all fog. She's retreated out of her mind right now." He turned to face his brother. "Sam, what happened?" 

 

Sam found his throat closed up, finding it impossible to speak. He quickly replayed what he could recall in his head, but already the memories were blurry. Parts were black, and he had slipped into the aura of a rage demon in a battle, leaving everything tinted red. 

 

Damien gasped, disbelief all over his face. "You used fear enthrallment on her?!?!" 

 

That broke Sam right out of his speechlessness, like a bucket of ice water. "No, I fucking didn't! I don't even know how to use that, I don't even know if I have that!" Sam ran his hands through his hair and started pacing. 

 

Damien practically hissed. "You do have it, even if you don't know it, and I'm not sure if that makes this better or worse." 

 

I knew they were talking, and I knew they were talking about me. But I was somewhere else, still there but not; nothing mattered. Just blank, just numb. That was okay. 

 

Damien focused his eyes back on me. "She's gone deep, and I have no idea how to pull her out of it. Mika, can you hear me?" 

 

He ran his hand down my cheek, and I absentmindedly noticed it. It was a tug back into my body, an option. I ignored it. 

 

Sam stopped pacing and took a step towards us. Damien raised his hand and looked at Sam with anger and sadness fighting for dominance in his eyes. 

 

"No. You've done enough." 

 

Sam stopped as if he'd been struck. Damien looked down at me again, still cradling me on the kitchen floor. "You want to help, Sam? Go summon our brothers and tell them what you did. I need help and apparently, so do you." 

 

Sam's face was full of grief and self-loathing as he turned and left the room. He had to trust Damien to keep her safe for now, had to figure out what the hell had just happened. He had never, in his life, used fear enthrallment. He didn't even know what it felt like. And the only person he used it on, even if he didn't know he was using it, was the person he wanted to protect the most. He closed his eyes and summoned his brothers.


	14. Smoldering Wreckage

"What the hell have you done?!?!?" 

 

Matthew lunged for Sam, furious and confused by the state Mika was in. Sam stared at his feet and made no move to defend himself. Matthew's fist slammed into his solar plexus, knocking Sam backwards, before Eric and James pulled him off his older brother. 

 

"She hasn't been this bad since the Abysmal Plains! How could you do this to her?!?!" 

 

James looked to Eric. "I need you to take Matthew and go help Damien." 

 

Eric and Matthew both protested, drowning each other out. 

 

"No way! This is too..." 

 

"James, no! You need someone to..." 

 

James shook his head and held his hand up. "If you love Mika and Sam, do as I say. I need you to do this." 

 

Eric looked at James, his eyes betraying his anger and hurt. Matthew began to protest again, but without a word, Eric tossed his brother over his shoulder and turned towards the dining room. Matthew's angry cries could be heard all the way to the kitchen, where they stopped immediately, not wanting to risk making anything worse for Mika. 

 

Neither brother said anything for a while before James sighed and sat on the floor against the wall. Sam paused, then did the same, albeit with a lot of distance between them. 

 

James looked at his brother. "Sam, I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but... this isn't your fault." 

 

Sam's head shot up, and he glared at James. "Did you see her? She isn't talking. She isn't moving. I fucking did that. I lost my temper, and I did that." 

 

When they're eyes met, James gave a small, sad smile. "I did see her, and I understand. Better than anyone else." 

 

He ran his hand through his air and took a breath, staring at the ceiling. "I can remember the first time I used fear enthrallment. It wasn't accidental, I was prodded into it. Our father wanted me trained and ready. It never occurred to me that one of you could be pushed to that place unintentionally without there being obvious signs. And especially with you, having more brute demon than the rest of us... I should have prepared for that and I'm sorry." 

 

Sam just shook his head, fingers clenching and unclenching. When he realized Sam wasn't going to say anything, he continued. 

 

"Fear enthrallment isn't something we are born already being able to do, like the incubus powers. In order to develop fear enthrallment, you have to be very afraid many times, or very afraid for a long time. It's cumulative, each experience building on the other. But for every demon, the threshold of how much fear they can experience before developing the ability is different." 

 

He sighed again, staring at his hands. "I used to watch Damien for signs it was developing, so I could help him if it did. With all the things he's been through, it would seem likely. But I think maybe his ability to read minds makes him too empathic for that." 

 

The same sad smile ghosted across James' face. "You and I do not have that protection." 

 

Sam drew his knees up and stared at the ground. "How the hell did that happen, James? How did I hurt her; what was that?" 

 

"Well," James began, slowly, "I think that you must have just reached your personal threshold. I think that everything with Mika has often left you drowning in fear. You love her, so much. I didn't realize, but you really do, don't you?" 

 

Sam nodded, fretting with a loose string on his jacket. 

 

"And I think that Mika has been through so much and each time she has been in danger, you have been suffocated with fear. You push it down, do what you need to, but it's still there. It simmers below the rage. So when you saw her talking to Raphael, you imagined all the things he could do to her. And you were angry, because she didn't call you and you believe she should have." 

 

James took a deep breath. "And unfortunately, Sam, fear enthrallment isn't new to Mika. Our father surely used it on her when he had her bound in the castle." 

 

Gently, he looked to Sam. "It's not your fault that it happened when it did, and with the worst possible person for that to happen to. But that doesn't invalidate Mika's experience. Her body turned on an automatic defense mechanism in response to what her subconscious considered a threat. Now, we have to figure out how to pull her out of it." 

 

Sam's voice shook as he quietly asked, "What if we can't pull her out? What if she doesn't come back this time?" 

 

James smiled and shook his head. "Sam, she has you to come back to. She loves you. Give her mind time to settle and heal a little bit. She will come back." 

 

\--- 

 

She was running. Glancing behind her, she saw no one. But she FELT something there, knew it was there. Fog crowded her on all sides, blinding her, but still she ran. Her dark hair flew behind her, untamed, and her over-sized t-shirt whipped around her body. She knew it was dangerous, because she could run into anything, off of anything, but she propelled her body forward. The fear pounding in her veins wouldn't allow her to slow down. Vaguely, she became aware of pain in her feet. It started out as a dull throbbing, but it was quickly increasing to sharp pains. Glancing down, she realized she was running on a path made entirely of broken glass. 

 

In an attempt to stop the pain and damage, she began to veer to the right, hoping she could find less treacherous ground. As soon as she moved however, a large growl filled the air joined by more and more. She could just make out the swipe of an animal with large claws ghost along the area she had been standing in moments before. She sprang back to the middle of the path with a groan. The pain had become agony and she felt herself gasp for air as she neared her limit. Whether from exertion or blood loss, she was beginning to lose consciousness, so she made an attempt towards the left instead. She was met with the same. 

 

She cried out against the pain and in frustration, knowing she must keep moving and knowing she was quickly losing the ability to do so. Her cry was met with the sound of another voice, not her own, calling her name. 

 

"Mika?" 

 

She yelled again, hoping he could hear her. The voice was familiar, she thought, but she wasn't sure. Everything was fuzzy in this place. Suddenly a man with copper pink hair and a slight build ran into the path, out of the fog. Without enough time to stop, she barreled into him, knocking them both to the ground. He wrapped his arms around her, rolling with her before settling her on his chest, letting the glass cut into his back. His eyes glowed golden for a moment as he drew symbols in the air, creating what looked like a shimmering translucent blanket around them. She screamed as she heard thunder and shrieking, looking over to see the stampede of animals that would quickly overtake them. The man pulled her head to his chest and was making cooing noises, as the first animal reached where they lay, helpless on the ground. As she heard the animals running over them but felt no pain, she looked up above her and gasped. The blanket seemed to have real and concrete matter, the animals unable to break through it as their hooves slammed uselessly against the shield. 

 

"Mika?" the man under her whispered. "Can you hear me, princess?" 

 

She nodded slowly. "Yes, Eric. I can. Where are we?" 

 

Eric pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "We are inside your dreaming mind, sweetheart. And you need to come back to yourself. It's time to wake up." 

 

"This isn't real?" 

 

"No princess, this is in your head." 

 

She let him wrap his arms around her and rested her head on his chest again. "But I don't know how to get out..." 

 

He chuckled and gave her a little squeeze. "That's what I'm here for." 

 

Slowly, time went by and the animals running the path became less and less. Neither Mika nor Eric spoke, her because she was exhausted, and he because he didn't know what to say. Finally, he waved his arm and the shield shattered. He helped her up, but seeing the state of her feet, he quickly kneeled and pulled her onto his back. He hauled her up and walked off into the fog. 

 

\--- 

 

Slowly, I felt myself begin to register the things around me. I was in a bed, my bed judging by the sheets. My head ached and felt as if it was splitting in two. I stirred, slowly opening my eyes, to be met with arms around me and my face pressed against a pink vest. 

 

"Ahhhh!?!?" 

 

I scrambled off the bed, falling on my butt as I fought to put distance between myself and the man that was sleeping beside me. I kicked my feet out scooting to the wall and standing against it, panting heavily. Looking around the room, terror gave way to confusion. "Eric?" 

 

Eric was in my bed, hair sticking out in weird angles and shirt wrinkled. He didn't move, just lifted his arms in the universal signal for surrender and stared at me, wide eyed. The door flew open and Matthew jumped into the room, wearing only his pajama pants and still bleary eyed. Sam was not far behind him, wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday. Large circles under his eyes told me he hadn't slept. They both assumed a battle stance before looking around and relaxing. 

 

Sam's eyes caught mine and he took a step towards me, hand outstretched. I flinched back, and he stopped moving. I saw pain flicker across his face and I hated it. But my fear was winning out. Sam shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed. 

 

I barely heard him whisper, "Izroul." 

 

Damien appeared, sweeping the room until he saw me. He studied my face and took a step forward, then another. Sam took a final look at me, agony rumbling below his eyes. I couldn't speak. I thought about how much I loved him, and how I didn't understand. 

 

Sam looked away from me and signaled Eric and Matthew to come with him, out of the room. As the door shut behind them, I took a running leap at Damien, wrapping my arms and legs around him and sobbing into his shoulder. He took a few steps backwards before sitting on the bed. He rubbed my back while I wept.


	15. Incinerator

Slowly, my tears dried up and Damien asked me if I was ready to talk about what happened. When I nodded, he told me everything. 

 

He told me about fear enthrallment, and how it was something Sam couldn't control the first time it manifested. How anxious Sam was after, how afraid; how he thought I'd never forgive him. Damien told me about the disassociation and how when they couldn't bring me out of it, they lay me down with Eric. How they hoped my state would be close enough to a dream that Eric could find me. I asked a few clarifying questions and he answered all of them. 

 

He asked if I wanted him to stay with me but I told him I didn't. I knew who I needed now, and as much as I loved Damien, he wasn't the Demon I who I had to see. 

 

I hugged him and told him to tell his other brothers they should leave as well, go home and get some rest. The last thing I asked was where Sam was. Damien smiled at me gently as he told me Sam was on the roof. 

 

I walked towards the open window and sat on the window sill, holding the upper half of my body out and placing my hands on the shingles. "Sam? Help me up please." 

 

I heard the roof groan and his hands grabbed my forearms, hauling me up. He held onto me long enough to get me seated before he let go and sat down a little further away than he normally would. We simply existed in silence for a while, just letting our emotions settle and watching the stars. 

 

I had thought to let him talk first, but honestly, I was never the most patient person. I reached out and grabbed his hand to ensure I wouldn't fall. He looked at me curiously and let out a surprised "oof" as I rolled myself on top of him, straddling his hips. His body was rigid and he seemed unsure, so I took both of his hands and placed them on my hips. I brushed my lips against his and he relaxed slightly below me, studying my face. 

 

Sam ran a hand down my cheek and frowned lightly. "Do you remember when you came up here with me after training and you asked if I needed energy?" 

 

I smiled wistfully at the memory. "I do. I was so nervous, I remember." 

 

Sam reached up and kissed my jaw, before settling back down. "That was before all the shit, you know? Before Malix, before Andrew was something more than a friend, before Diana, and the Demon War. I wonder how things would be different if I had told you then how I felt about you." 

 

I looked at him and nodded thoughtfully. "I don't know. That seems like a different world, honestly." 

 

He sighed. "Yeah, I know." 

 

He moved his hands to cradle my face and I leaned into his palm. His face held so much anguish and it broke my heart. "I am so fucking sorry, Doofus. I am, I didn't mean to do that. I have no idea what happened! I can't stand it, I can't handle that I hurt you and I am- ...just so sorry." 

 

One tear slid down his face and I kissed it. "Sam, it's okay. No really, it is. You were just as much a victim of this as I was, okay? You didn't know you were doing it or even that you could, but we'll figure it out together, like everything else." 

 

I took a big breath before continuing. "And speaking about things we have to figure out, I have something we need to talk about. I wish it could wait but, it's the whole reason Raphael was here and I have to give him an answer in the morning." 

 

Sam looked up to my face. "Tell me." 

 

I sighed and closed my eyes. "He told me that from the Nephilim perspective, husband and wife are bound to each other and responsible for each other's debts. I told him that humans say till death do us part, but he said by demon standards, by angelic standards, we were still bound. That they hold a human marriage to be a continual binding, unless one of the parties does an actual soul binding, but that we don't have enough magic to do that here anyway." 

 

I could feel Sam's hands shaking, but I kept my eyes shut and kept going. I refused to let what happened earlier make me afraid. It wasn't his fault and I had to put a stop to any reaction like that immediately. Not to would be far too cruel and I loved him way too much for that. 

 

"I told him that they hadn't made good on their half of the deal and now Andrew was dead so... but he told me 'he still has enough body to use and they can make sure there is just enough life to get his seed to take root.' So basically, they will make good on the deal to get whatever Andrew promised them." 

 

"That's not going to fucking happen, I'll tell you that," he said through clenched teeth. 

 

"Oh trust me, I'm with you on that. Which is why Raphael wants to take me to see his boss and negotiate a new price. He says it's different for everyone, but basically if I pay up whatever it is his boss wants, then the deal Andrew made will get scrapped." 

 

Finally, I opened one eye and risked a glance at Sam. His face was red and he looked like he might explode at any minute. "Sam?" 

 

He looked away to the side and I could hear him panting. "Sam, what are you doing?!?!" 

 

He was shaking, fists clenched, rage almost coming through the pores on his skin. Then it hit me. 'He doesn't want to show how angry he is because he doesn't want to scare me again.' 

 

But at this rate, he was going to have a heart attack, if demons even could have heart attacks, and I needed him to stop trying to shove it down. 

 

"Sam, it's okay-" 

 

"Sam, I'm not scared-" 

 

"Sam- ...Aw, fuck it." 

 

I turned his head and smashed my lips against his, grinding down on his lap. I heard a gasp of surprise beneath me, but I kept going, kissing him feverishly, pushing myself against him, pulling all that energy from rage into sex. 

 

For a short few seconds, he kept his hands clenched, body rigid, and his lips didn't move. Then he let out a moan that sounded like pain and flipped me onto my back. 

 

Suddenly his hands were everywhere, on my cheeks, on my breasts, down my sides. He cupped my ass, rubbed me against the length of him straining the zipper of his pants. He chased every moan and sigh, took them higher, and demanded more. Sam was in a frenzy, focusing every ounce of himself on wringing pleasure from my body, and I was very much on board with his plan. 

 

With a loud rip my jeans came off and he was between my legs. Licking, sucking, biting (oh my god the biting) and he slowed down just long enough the slide two fingers inside me before he picked back up his feverish pace. 

 

He licked at my clit, and I wondered briefly in my stupor of pleasure if he was moving faster than a human could. He drug screams from me with was no slow build up, just almost painful euphoria balanced on a knife's edge. My first orgasm ripped through me with enough force to arch my back off the roof. 

 

Sam groaned as my body squeezed his fingers but he never gave me a moment to come down and after the fourth there was no time in between them and I was whimpering and begging. Neither of us could tell what I was begging for. 

 

When he finally kissed back up my body, grinning like a cat in a sunspot, the only thing I could manage was panting and the most pathetic, even to my ears, plaintive cries of 'please.' 

 

I was hardly a solid being at the moment, every limb felt like liquid, but I managed to let out another entreaty while reaching towards the button on his pants. Not that I had the dexterity to unbutton them, but he got the idea. 

 

It was only when he was seated at my entrance, ready to push in, that he started an enthrallment. Vaguely in the back of my mind I was thankful he waited because if he did what he was doing a moment ago with enthrallment, I doubt I would have survived it. 

 

As he slid into me, I moaned deep in my chest and everything was on fire in all of the best ways and he fucked me soooo slow. His thrusts were steady, drawing this part out, kissing me languidly, hands caressing every part of me. Sam told me he loved me over and over, while I made incomprehensible needy sounds and gripped him to me; needing him deeper, wanting more of him inside me than would ever be possible. 

 

When he finally came, I was so relaxed I actually thought he might fuck me into unconsciousness. His moan as he hit his climax brought me the slightest bit back to reality and as he kissed me sweetly, I managed to kiss him back for a moment. 

 

Then I fell asleep on the roof, with him still inside me, and the heavens looking down on us.


	16. What Remains is only Ash

He wished that morning would never come, but it came all the same. 

 

Sam had not slept, carrying Mika to her bed and simply watching her sleep. After what happened, after the fear enthrallment, he hadn't dare to hope he'd ever get to touch her again, kiss her again, or even be near her. Watching her while she dreamed felt like an unbelievable privilege and gift. 

 

He was so tired of all this bullshit, so tired of nothing ever going the way it should. Mika, his brothers, and even Sam himself had been forced to endure too much these past few years. They came to the human world to be free, but what had that freedom cost them? He wondered if the price was too high for some of his brothers. For him though, with Mika softly snoring in his arms, any price was acceptable. He'd suffer anything if she waited for him at the end of his trial. 

 

And yet, it seemed that so often fate has thrust them into positions that had them the other way round. She was the one who was forced to sacrifice, to survive. And as the sun rose, he cursed it for bringing the light of day. This morning, she would be forced to pay again, unless he did something utterly stupid and reckless. So, Sam opted for stupid and reckless. 

 

He slowly pulled himself from the bed, careful not to wake Mika, and he went downstairs to the study. Pulling out the card Raphael had left, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed. 

 

Raphael answered on the third ring. "Good morning, Babygirl; so thrilled you called. Shall I come pick you up?" 

 

Sam felt himself flush at the pet name and must have growled unconsciously, because Raphael spoke again before Sam had a chance to reply. "Ahh, not Mika, after all. I really should have guessed it would be you that would call me this morning. I just didn't think she'd allow it." 

 

Sam swallowed hard. "She can't allow or not allow something when she doesn't know it's happening." 

 

Raphael chuckled. "Fair enough," he said, "but what do you expect to accomplish with this phone call? You can threaten, you could even kill me, but it wouldn't change the fact that a debt is outstanding. Someone will always come to collect, most probably someone far less nice and far less handsome than I." 

 

Such a smug asshole. Sam grit his teeth and forced a reply, "That's not why I called, Nephilim. I need to see your boss, find out what it will cost me to pay it for her." 

 

There was silence on the end of the phone, and Sam waited. After a few moments, Sam began to wonder if they were disconnected, but Raphael finally spoke. "You say 'what it will cost' you, not 'what it might cost' you. What if her price is a bad haircut and yours is a thousand years of soul flaying?" 

 

Sam cringed. "Man, that's graphic." 

 

"Well," Raphael replied, sounding annoyed, "graphic or not, it's a valid point, so..." 

 

"Has anyone ever had their price be a bad haircut?" 

 

"Ah... no, not that I'm aware of." 

 

"Then that's your answer." Sam pressed his lips together. "We both know the price is going to hurt real bad; it's going to be horrible. She's had more than enough horrible. I'm taking this one. And if I survive it, I'll spend the rest of my life making sure she never has to be alone or deal with any of that shit again." 

 

A brief silence fell over them again, before Raphael sighed. "Very well. I'll pick you up in 10 minutes." 

 

Sam hung up the phone and went to sit on the porch. 

 

\--- 

 

Raphael arrived in a little under 7 minutes. Sam rolled his eyes as the solid white Ashton Martin slowed to a stop in front of him. Of course, Raphael WOULD drive a little sports car that cost as much as a house. Sam reached for the door handle, and finding it locked, he looked in and motioned for Raphael. 

 

The Nephilim nodded to Sam and hit the unlock button, but as Sam's hand closed on the door, he heard it lock again. He leaned down and glared daggers at Raphael, who was shrugging, eyes wide and innocent. It wasn't until Sam smiled, miming ripping the door off the fucking car that the door was finally not tampered with. 

 

Sam sat down in the bucket seat and found himself feeling claustrophobic. Looking at Raphael, he realized they were close to the same size and wondered how in the hell Raphael DIDN'T feel trapped in here. They had driven for about 10 minutes without speaking, although it was far from silent as Raphael sang along with and danced to his CD with 80's music. He tried to get Sam to join in, but to no avail. 

 

The sound of a ringtone pierced the car and Raphael turned down the music and checked who it was. 

 

"Ahhhh," he said, winking at Sam. "It's your lady friend." 

 

Before the Nephilim could answer it, Sam reached across the car and snatched the phone from his hand. With so much speed that Raphael had no chance of stopping him, he rolled down his window and tossed the phone. 

 

Raphael stared wide eyed at him, mouth agape. "I can't believe you did that..." 

 

Sam grinned smugly. "Ah, let it go Half-blood. I'll buy you another." 

 

Raphael turned back to the road but continued to send Sam dirty looks. "I had pictures on there you know. They may have been mostly my cat, but they were MY pictures. Are you going to get those back? Yeah, didn't think so." 

 

Sam laughed in spite of himself. He had to admit, the guy grows on ya. 

 

Raphael took a left and Sam noticed that they were headed into a trailer park. Sam eyed Raphael suspiciously. "You're kidding me, right?" 

 

With a wry laugh, Raphael shook his head. "Trust me, you aren't the only one who wishes the boss lived in a penthouse or mansion, ideally just somewhere that didn't have wheels would be an improvement. But that's not up to me." 

 

They pulled into a gravel drive at the very back of the park and drove another quarter mile into the woods before suddenly, the area around the road lightened up and they were parking in front of a cozy cottage on wheels. 

 

To the side, children in various states of undress ran through a sprinkler. As they had driven through the woods, the cold winter had stalled and retreated. By the time they were near the house, it was summer in a clearing. A clothes line was covered in long skirts and cloths. In an old barn set slightly further back on the property, at least a dozen women sat washing clothes by hand, stitching things, and working on various other activities. Their laughter filled the air and echoed through the large open field the buildings sat in. A stunningly beautiful woman sat on a makeshift porch, wearing a long pink sundress that dipped in the front, emphasizing her slender neck. Her skin was the color of milk chocolate, with large brown eyes and dark hair pulled up tightly into a bun. Her feet were bare and her arms were covered in beaded bangles. Her age seemed timeless and Sam couldn't settle on a decade, let alone a number. She looked up at the car as it approached and stood, fondly shooing the children into the barn before crossing her arms and walking through the grass to meet Raphael and Sam. Sam was struck with confusion at the sight of her; her face appeared open and genuine. 

 

Raphael leaned a little closer to Sam before they exited the car. He whispered, "I suggest you be careful, very careful. Don't let that pretty face ease your worries; she will eat you alive." 

 

Thinking of Diana's beauty, Sam nodded and stepped out of the car. Raphael did the same a second later with a blank expression set on his features. 

 

The woman smiled warmly at Raphael. "Darling, so nice of you to visit. Who have you brought to see me today?" 

 

Raphael returned her smile stiffly, and gestured to Sam. "Hello, Beautiful. This is Sam. You recall that Andrew's contract has come due and I asked for dispensation to transfer the debt? Sam has come to pay it." 

 

She gazed at Sam for a few moments, looking intrigued. Finally, she laughed and extended her hand. "Raphael, have you already forgotten your manners?" 

 

She paused to cluck her tongue at him, and Raphael looked thoroughly uncomfortable. "My name is Vierdanda, but please, call me V." 

 

Sam grasped her hand, careful not to let anger take hold and crush the delicate fingers in his own. V's eyes never left his. 

 

"Interesting..." She whispered before releasing him. "Please, come have a seat on the porch and we can talk shop." 

 

V turned from them, and after exchanging a brief look between them, the men followed in her wake. 

 

"Layla!" she called to the barn. A young woman with a full face and an oversized yellow shirt came bounding toward them. Her blue jean shorts almost disappeared entirely under the button up and her long, auburn hair streamed behind her. Her nose and cheeks boasted a number of freckles. 

 

As she got closer, Sam noticed she had cat ears and a tail. "Yes, Auntie V?" 

 

V reached out and scratched her ears, making the girl purr and squeal. "Go inside and bring out some of that pink lemonade, little kitten." 

 

The girl flushed and smiled demurely, scurrying to the house. They reached the porch and settled into three of the four wicker rocking chairs and sat there silently, waiting on the drinks. 

 

When Layla returned, she handed them each one off the tray, before V raised her hand and motioned to the barn. "You go on and scoot now, little kitten." 

 

And with that, Layla bounded off again in the direction of the barn. 

 

"Now then," began V, taking a long drink of her lemonade. "I must ask you, Sam. Why on earth would you be willing to pay this girl's debt? She seems to have all these boys wrapped around her finger." 

 

She laughed, sipping her drink and closing her eyes in contentment like a lizard on a rock. "Mmmm, this girl. Humans want her, demons want her; even the Demon Lord. Not to mention our own Raphael, though he dare not admit to it." 

 

Raphael flushed and eyed her bitterly, before seeming to remember himself and looking at his feet. V turned her attention back to Sam. "So, third son of the Demon Realm, the Monster and Brute, the Incubus and Rage Demon; tell me. Why you would willingly pay such a heavy penalty for the girl who has laid devastation to the lives of so many before you?" 

 

Sam felt the anger boil under his skin, but he took a deep breath and tried to keep his voice even. "Mika has hurt no one." 

 

V laughed, shaking her head. "Oh, my dear boy, surely you don't actually believe that!" 

 

She eyed his face, and exclaimed with delight, "But YOU DO... well, they do say love is blind, I suppose. I will grant you that she has no ill intent. In fact, she has so many GOOD intentions. But the poor lamb, everything she touches turns to ash." 

 

Sam grit his teeth and V sighed heavily, before shrugging her shoulders. "I will let it pass, though my curiosity burns for this girl. Perhaps a different time, another destiny..." 

 

She waved her hand flippantly before turning in her chair to face Sam. "Down to business, then. Give me your hand." She held hers in front of her, while Sam eyed her with undisguised suspicion. 

 

She looked at him, exasperated. "If you want to know your price, I must see your soul. This is the only way. Now come, love," she said, leaning forward a bit more. "Give me your hand." 

 

Reluctantly, Sam reached for her. When his skin met hers, his head turned white and fuzzy. Everything faded to neutral colors and he felt as if he was floating. He saw V's eyes roll back and he felt his follow. He watched his life flash before his eyelids faster than was possible, certainly too fast for Sam to make out the details. Suddenly, V released his hand and he took a huge breath, sucking in oxygen and panting like he had been drowning. V slumped in her seat for a moment, shaking head to toe, and for a sliver of time Sam actually felt alarmed for her. When he went to reach forward to check on her, Raphael grabbed his shoulder and stopped him. 

 

"Just give it a minute," he said in a low voice, never taking his eyes from V. After a little time passed, she stopped breathing so shallowly and sat up in her chair. She was still shaky, but her eyes had cleared and now she only looked very tired. 

 

Seeing she would at least live, Sam felt uncertainty rise in his chest. "What the fuck are you?" 

 

V laughed again, but this time it sounded bitter. She waved him off. "I am beyond history, far too old to be remembered. And I am the only one." 

 

She shifted in her seat again and squared her shoulders. "But that is a long story and not one for today." 

 

Sam met her eyes, staring into endless caramel pools. "Your price, as is everyone's, is a part of yourself. An energetic limb, so to speak. For some, it is that which they love most. For others, it is their very identity. You, however, are unique. You carry three identities, each as valid as the next." 

 

She broke Sam's gaze to rub her temple, face contorting in pain. "You must pay with one of these. You may sacrifice the human, allowing me to carve it from you. You would be leaving behind the human realm forever and returning to the Demon World. You may sacrifice the Incubus, never again to feed on sexual energy, but always to be hungry. Or you may sacrifice the Rage Demon, allowing the anger to build within you and being forced to hold it with no release valve." 

 

Sam could feel his heart threatening to pound from his chest. He expected, of course, that it would be something like this. That was why he was here and not Mika. But he had assumed there would be one thing, one option, and he would simply do it without being forced to consider. But having the choice... this was going to ruin him completely. He knew it. 

 

He turned to V, but she was already standing, unsteady on her feet and forced to grip onto the chair to steady herself. "I can see the turmoil in your eyes, Demon. I will give you three days. Return to me with an answer by then, but remember: should you choose not to pay, he will be three days older. I don't have to tell you what that means." 

 

She carefully walked around him while Sam fought a shudder of revulsion at the thought. His head was still whirling when Raphael stood and tapped his shoulder, bringing him back to the present. 

 

"Come on," he said, gesturing to the car. "I'll take you home."


	17. Burning My Soul Up

I sat on the porch, knees pulled to my chest, rocking back and forth. Where was he? Why wasn't Raphael answering his calls? I knew that probably meant they were together, but I kept praying they weren't. 

 

'Please...' I thought, eyes filling with tears. 'Please don't be with Raphael. Please, God, after everything. Please don't take Sam, too.' 

 

Those hopes were quickly shattered as I heard the purr of a car coming closer and watched Raphael pull around and stop in front of the house. I dropped my head to my hands as Sam stepped out of the car.   
No one dared break the silence, but I heard the crunch of gravel as both men walked towards me. The numbness washed over me and suddenly I found myself so very tired. 

 

Two dirty sneakers entered my field of vision, before stopping in front of me. I didn't even want to look at him; didn't want to see his beautiful face, the way he gnawed his lip when he was nervous. The way his eyes flooded with love when he saw me; the cheeks that would burn crimson when I looked at him the same way. 

 

Very gently, Sam slipped a finger under my chin and began to lift my head, presumably to look at him. At the same time, he whispered, "Doofus?" 

 

That was the moment when I absolutely and completely lost my shit. 

 

I moved forward, throwing all my weight behind my lunge, and surprised him by shoving us both to the ground. I loved him so deeply, so completely, and he had gone off and done the stupidest thing he could possibly conceive of! I was going to kill him, bring him back, and kill him again. 

 

Sam was apparently still shocked because as I landed on his chest with a thump, I was able to get one solid punch to his jaw before he came back to himself and flipped our positions. He pinned me to the ground beneath him, oh-so-carefully so as not to hurt me, and the gentleness made me even angrier. I snarled and kicked, trying desperately to get away so I could, with any luck, punch him again. 

 

"Mika, STOP!" Sam was looking down at me, concern showing in his eyes, and it just made me even more angry. 

 

"Don't you DARE look at me like that!" I snarled. 

 

His face turned to utter bewilderment. "Look at you like what?" 

 

I lifted my head up, still trying to escape before realizing that avenue was fruitless and slamming my head back down on the gravel. I could feel little bits of stone embedded in my scalp from the hit, but I didn't care. Not in the least. 

 

"Like I'm crazy, unreasonable- like you didn't just go off and do that crazy-ass sacrifice bullshit you and your brothers do all the time. Every time!" Hot tears of rage ran down my cheeks while Sam watched my face, sorrow showing on his. I was not deterred. 

 

"Do you think you have a monopoly on being noble and be willing to compromise everything, Sam? That only you five have loved ones to protect, that we're okay with you always putting yourself on the chopping block while we stand by and watch?" I was sobbing now, chest heaving, and still burning red hot with anger. 

 

Sam still watched me, his expression never changing. "I would do anything for you Mika, give anything..." 

 

I growled, "And you think you're the only one who feels that way, the only one who wants to love and protect? LET ME UP." 

 

Sam released me and I scrambled to my feet, watching Sam 'relax' into a stance that was meant to look nonchalant when it was anything but. 

 

"You all go charging off into danger like your lives mean NOTHING. Like you are REPLACEABLE..." I planted my hands on my hips, looking to the sky to try to curb the tears. "Y- You, you pig-headed, impulsive, infuriating demon!" 

 

I met his eyes and all the anger and righteousness drained right out of me. I felt my knees buckle, and Sam caught me before I could hit the ground. I snuggled against his chest, finding the comfort of his scent. 

 

"I'm still angry, you know," I reminded him, wrapping my arms around him. 

 

He snorted. "I know." 

 

I closed my eyes and buried my face in his t-shirt. "You aren't replaceable," I said, my voice cracking. "Not to me." 

 

He smoothed down my hair, running his fingers through it over and over before settling one hand on my hip and one on the nape of my neck. 

 

Someone cleared their throat and we looked over to see a very amused Raphael. Sam seemed surprised for a moment. "Oh shit. You're still here..." 

 

Raphael laughed. "Yes, still here. But bravo, what a lovely performance. Afraid we've no time for an encore however, we have things to discuss." 

 

And with that, the Nephilim strutted past us, hips swaying, and let himself into the house. 

 

I looked up at Sam before pushing away from him and walking towards the door. "It seems we have things to discuss," I said, a light smile on my face. 

 

Sam rolled his eyes and groaned, before following us in. 

 

\--- 

 

It seemed stupid but I made a tray anyway, like this was some pleasant afternoon visit. I came through carrying it, laden with 3 kinds of cookies and 2 kinds of juice, remembering that Raphael didn't like tea. He flashed me an appreciative smile. I sat down with them at the dining room table and looked between the two, expectant. Raphael seemed very interested in the decor, whilst Sam was staring so hard at the surface in front of him, it felt as if the table would burst into flames any minute. I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat. Both eyes snapped to mine and Sam blushed. 

 

Raphael lifted his drink towards me, a wide smile on his face. "Mika, this juice is exquisite. Did you make this by hand? It's so delicious." 

 

I fixed him with an impatient glare before responding. "You are drinking out of a juice box, Raphael. You really think I not only made it, but PACKAGED it?" 

 

He chuckled. "Well, my dear, you are so very talented-" 

 

Sam interrupted, the air rushing out of him all at once, "I have three parts to my soul and I have to sacrifice one of them and if it's the Rage Demon I'll be angry forever and if it's the Incubus I starve and if it's the human I have to go back to the Demon Plane and I can't come back." 

 

All of his breath having been spent, he took a deep inhale before returning to studying the table. 

 

Raphael glared at him. "That was possibly the least tactful way to say that which has ever been invented." 

 

"Shut up." Sam murmured, but it sounded less like a threat and more like an exhausted formality. 

 

My mind whirled and my heart dropped because the answer was obvious, even if he wanted to pretend it wasn't. Diana had won the demon war. She sat on the throne, and the boys had made their peace with her. Diana would let Sam come back to court as a noble without any qualms, her rule perfectly cemented, not to mention she felt a little beholden to the boys. After all, 4 sons of the Demon Lord and Diana were who killed the ruler, and they could have taken his throne up and left Diana with nothing, easily. No one would doubt them and their story. But every one of them acknowledged her as the ruler of the Demon Realm and that had made the transfer of power immensely easier than it would have been had they simply been absent altogether. Sam could go there and have a life; fall in love with someone he didn't have to lose pieces of himself for. Here, only torture would await him; constant hunger or uncontrollable rage. Both would lead to nothing but unhappiness for him. His brothers could visit him there, and he'd be back where he was able to be himself completely. 

 

Tears ran down my cheeks, because I knew. I knew if I loved him, I was going to be forced to live without him. It would be no life for me, not even worth sustaining. But maybe after a few years, after he moved on, I'd be able to finish what I started and just disappear. Then it would only be a little bit more anguish before nothingness. I could bear that for him. I would, happily. If Damien knew what was at stake, he would keep quiet long enough for Sam to leave. Of course, he'd then try to make sure I stayed alive, stayed sane, but that was a hurtle to deal with later. Right now, the important thing was to keep Sam from ruining his life over me. 

 

But how? 

 

No one had spoken for a long time and when I looked up, I saw that Raphael was staring right at me. Sam's head was still down, apparently lost in his own thoughts. I signaled Raphael to follow me to the backyard, before standing up and sighing. 

 

Sam quickly sat up and tried to calm me, "Baby, it'll be alright, I promise. I'll figure it ou-" 

 

I raised my hand for him to stop and let the tears gush down my cheeks. "Sam, I just need a minute, away from you. I just need to think without your and my feelings mixing. Just, I need to sort through it." 

 

I took a step backwards, eyes on the floor. "I'm going out back for a few minutes." 

 

I turned on my heel and headed towards the gazebo. I heard Raphael telling Sam that he would make sure I was okay before I heard his footsteps behind me. I didn't turn, but I knew Sam was staring at my retreating form. 

 

When I reached the gazebo, I turned and gasped as Raphael wrapped his arms around me in a big hug. I stiffened for a moment, before a heart broken sob broke from my throat and I hugged him back as hard as I could. He made soothing noises, and I was surprised how genuine he was being, how kind. 

 

"Shhh, Babygirl. I know, I know..." 

 

He held me like that for a few minutes and let me soak his shirt with tears, before he pulled back and ran his hand down my cheeks, capturing the tears. "You wanted to talk to me, sweetheart. I don't know how long we have before he can't hold it in anymore and he has to come get you. So tell me what you need." 

 

Raphael smiled softly and reassuringly and I took a step back, forcing myself to come back together.   
I took a deep breath. "Is there any way that I can still go get my price and save him from this?" 

 

Raphael smiled sadly. "No, Babygirl." He sighed. "I had to ask for special dispensation to have the debt treated as impossible after death instead of just letting them fulfill it in such a heinous way, and that was a lot of red tape and a lot of rule breaking. I won't be able to do it again." 

 

I nodded, rubbing my hands up and down my arms. "I understand," I replied, sadly. 

 

I took a deep breath and gathered determination around me like a cloak. "Then I need your help to make sure he makes the right choice. He needs to go back to the Demon World." 

 

Raphael studied my face closely. "Mika, we both know that is the price he definitely isn't picking." 

 

I sighed. "Which is why I need your help, Raphael. Please, help me save him from himself. I'm begging." 

 

I heard Sam call my name from inside the house and I looked at Raphael, my eyes pleading. 

 

He studied me closely, before asking me a quiet question. "He's willing to give his life for yours. Are you willing to give yours for him? Even if it means never seeing your loved ones again; even if it means losing everything that you are?" 

 

I answered immediately. "Without hesitation." 

 

Raphael nodded, looking sad but resigned. "Meet me at the Pink Lady Cafe tomorrow morning at 8am. I will give you my answer then." 

 

I threw my arms around him and after a sharp intake of surprise, he held me to his chest as if he was afraid I'd disappear. 

 

"Thank you," I whispered, breathing a small sigh of relief. His answer was so quiet I almost didn't hear it. 

 

"Anything for you, Babygirl..."


	18. Flames of Discord

The five sons of the Demon Lord sat around the dining room table in the Mansion, looking grim. 

 

Eric was rubbing his temples, trying to will away the pain threatening to split his head in two. "I am finding it hard to comprehend how any of these options are options at all." 

 

Matthew nodded, arms crossed. "That's because they aren't." 

 

"Well," said Sam, teeth gritted. "They have to be, because allowing a corpse to impregnate the love of my life is not happening." 

 

Sounds of disgust filled the room. 

 

James grimaced, trying to put what he needed to say tactfully. "Sam... I know how deeply you love Mika. We love her too, and I consider her as much my sister as I consider you my brother." 

 

He cleared his throat and looked straight ahead, eyes unfocused. "That is why, when hearing all of the options available to you both, hers is the one which will cause the least pain in the long term." 

 

The look in Sam's eyes became dangerous and murderous. "… What in the actual fuck did you just say-" 

 

James winced, painfully aware that Sam could still best him in a fight any day and that he was making his brother very angry. 

 

"Just," James began, "give me a moment, before you go off the deep end. What they want to do to Mika is heinous. The ramifications of such an action on a girl in her already delicate state could be disastrous. However, I do believe that with the proper support and proper spells, her situation could be temporary. The baby could be born and adopted out within a year, the action blanked from her mind, and..." 

 

"No." Damien's voice cut off his older brother's explanation icily. "We can't let that happen to her. She'll never recover." 

 

James closed his eyes and took a deep steadying breath. "Someone will lose something precious to them, there is no way to fix that. It is a year of her life or all of Sam's life. We must be logical. I hate it, I am simply trying to make the right choice, not the emotional one." 

 

Eric cradled his head in his hands. "He- he's not entirely wrong. Surely you can see that-" 

 

Sam slammed his fist on the hard wood, a crack splintering the wood across the top of the table. He was unable to speak, knowing that he was inches away from ripping out the throat of his own brother. He had to find some control, he had to, or Sam was going to kill the eldest. As Damien stood, it was not the first nor last time he would think that Damien was such a fucking gift to the rest of them. 

 

"James," he said, voice even and still ice filled, "You aren't hearing me. This is not for a year. No matter what you do, even if she can't remember, she will still know what happened. She will still be raped and she will still feel violated. She can't bear it, James. I've seen her mind. SHE CANNOT SURVIVE IT. It will be the rest of her life, and the rest of her life will be very, very short." 

 

Matthew looked between the faces of his brothers, having never seen them so divided. "We can't let this happen to either of them! There has to be a way." 

 

Suddenly, Sam was laughing. His brothers' eyes fell on him in surprise and horror as Sam laughed so hard his chest burned and his body reddened. 

 

Matthew's face scrunched up, looking stunned. "I... what?" 

 

Sam stood up abruptly, his eyes wild, staring straight in front of him at nothing all. His voice was so low they had to strain to hear him. "There is no getting out of it. There is no way, none of that exists. Here's the truth, and I hope you are all listening, because I am only saying it one time..." 

 

Sam stopped, meeting each of his brothers' eyes. His own green eyes flashed dangerously. "No one is going to touch Mika. I am going to pay the price. I am going to live with the consequences. And that is the end of it." 

 

He ground his teeth in frustration. "Now, everyone except Damien: Get out." 

 

James turned on him with wide eyes. "Pardon?" 

 

Sam growled, the threat in his voice clear. "I. Said. GET OUT." 

 

James face screwed up with anger and he opened his mouth to speak, but Eric placed his hand on his brother's arm. "Alright, Sam. We'll leave." 

 

Eric met James eyes pleadingly and with a huff he stormed out of the mansion. Matthew looked more hurt than angry, but he said nothing and followed behind James. The last to leave was Eric, and after sharing a meaningful glance with Damien, he left his brothers alone, pulling the door shut behind him.   
Damien and Sam stood in silence as the minutes ticked away, until finally, Sam's breathing returned to normal and he slumped down into his chair. Damien followed suit and sat across from him, head cradled in his hands. 

 

"So, what are you thinking you're going to choose?" asked Damien. 

 

Sam sighed. "I'm not leaving her here and going back to the demon world." 

 

Damien nodded slowly, taking a deep steadying breath. "I assumed that was the case." 

 

"And, let's face it, if I can't burn out my anger..." Sam grimaced, thinking of what could come to pass. 

 

"You might hurt her." Damien finished for him. Sam nodded. 

 

Damien considered the ramifications of this decision. "I don't understand why you'll always be hungry, though." He looked at Sam, trying to sort it out. "I mean, if you can consume the rage energy, then it really shouldn't be too much of a problem to let the Incubus go." 

 

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. That's just what she said. I guess it's just gotta hurt somehow" 

 

Some time passed with the brothers simply sitting in companionable silence. There was nothing more to say, but there was comfort just in being together. 

 

Finally, Damien stood. 

 

"I think you should go spend some time with, Mika." 

 

He smiled sadly, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm so sorry this is happening to you two, but I want you to know something. Mika is amazing and beautiful and kind, but she's lucky to have you too, Sam. You are a good man, even if you don't always believe it." 

 

Without waiting for a reply, Damien crossed over to the door and quietly slipped out. 

 

\--- 

 

As if the day had not been long enough, I couldn't avoid bringing my husband's disappearance to the notice of the police forever. The afternoon was spent answering questions and feeling as my whole life was being picked apart. It was certainly not pleasant, but at least it was done. When Sam and I walked through the front door of the mansion, I found myself feeling jittery and restless. Sam must have felt the same, because he suggested we order a pizza and play a gratuitously violent video game. I laughed and told him I thought cheesy goodness and killing zombies was a fantastic idea. 

 

A few hours and a couple hundred zombies later, I was starting to feel slightly sleepy. Knowing I had an appointment with Raphael in the morning, I nudged Sam and suggested we go to bed. Watching Sam strip off his shirt and pull on flannel pajama buttons, I was struck with a sense of gratefulness. 

 

My life had by all accounts been less than stellar. I had been subjected to some really horrible things, and I had made my fair share of stupid decisions (case in point: marrying Andrew.) But I did have Sam now, and that was unbelievable in and of itself. He was so special, so different, and so strong. He was also incredibly reckless and stupid, and I was still feeling a bit pissed off about his outing with Raphael. 

 

"Oh Sammmmmm..." I purred, stripping off my own shirt as he froze in the process of turning down the bed and met my eyes. I smirked at him, moving my hands down to slowly unbutton and unzip my pants. 

 

"I dare say we'll be needing your handcuffs." I shimmied my pants off and ran my hands down my curves, knowing he was watching my every move. 

 

He took a stuttering breath before taking a step back and moving to the dresser. He came back to the bed, the cuffs hanging from one finger, and a slow smile spread across his face. I smiled back at him, but something in my eyes must have given me away because his smile faltered just a little. 

 

My voice was a little icy as I pointed to the bed. "Lay down in the middle." 

 

He cocked an eyebrow, but did as I said, lowering himself onto the blanket. I took the cuffs from him and he allowed me to move his arms up one by one, cuffing him to the bed posts with his hands above his head. 

 

I straddled his chest and looked down to see him smirking up at me. 

 

"You know these aren't going to hold me, right?" he chuckled, giving the cuffs a soft tug. 

 

I smiled sweetly. "Oh Aomaris, I know they won't hold you. They aren't for that." 

 

I leaned down, sucking the lobe of his ear into my mouth and nibbling, before I whispered, "They're there as a reminder that if you move your hands from where I have told you to put them, the only way you will be cumming tonight is all by yourself. Just you and your right hand." 

 

I pulled back and winked and when his eyes met mine, they were filled with uncertainty and heat. 

 

Sam opened his mouth to speak, but I slammed my hand over his lips. "No more talking. No enthrallment until I say. I will let you know when it's time to beg, though." 

 

I saw his Adam's Apple bob as he gulped, but he stayed silent, watching me slink down his body and pull his already hard cock from his pajamas. He moaned and arched when I touched him, and I swept my fingers over the head to gather the first few beads of pre-cum. His eyes were closed so he was unprepared when I slid my finger into his mouth, making him taste himself. He moaned and his cock twitched. 

 

I slowly stroked him, steadily building. "Why Sam," I teased. "If I don't know better, I'd think you LIKED not being in charge for once." His face flushed and as he wasn't allowed to speak, he didn't reply. I smiled down on him. 

 

It wasn't long before he was thrusting into my hand, and I bent down to lick across the head. He hissed and I looked up at him, my lips poised over his dick. "Something to say, Sam?" 

 

He didn't acknowledge me, so I stopped completely and his eyes shot open and looked down. "Baby, don't stop! I'm so close." 

 

I resumed my stroking and he groaned loudly. "Are you now?" I said with a chuckle. 

 

Watching closely, I could see his balls begin to tighten and that was the moment when I withdrew my touch completely. 

 

He looked down at me, eyes burning. "Baby?" 

 

"Tsk, tsk..." I purred. "It's not time to cum yet." 

 

I took a long leisurely lick up his cock, smiling when his hips thrust involuntarily. After a few more light, barely touches, I took his dick in my hand again and resumed stroking. It was only minutes later when I could see the tell-tale sign of bliss building in his body. That was, until I removed my hand again. He growled in frustration and the hand cuffs groaned as he forgot himself. My hand smacked down on his chest and he stopped squirming and looked up at me. I looked down at him severely. 

 

"Do you want to be inside me tonight? Hmmmm?" He nodded up at me, frustration etched into his face. 

 

"Then don't break the damn cuffs!" I huffed, giving his dick a nice sharp tug and listening to him groan at the sensation. 

 

By the fourth time, Sam was sweating and tossing back and forth, and almost begging. 

 

"Fuck Mika, I need it, for fuck's sake. Please!" I pulled one of his balls into my mouth and hummed while I took time to consider. 

 

He squirmed and cursed, his cock impossibly hard and weeping. Licking a trail down and back up one of his thighs, I kept silent and made him wait. Finally, I popped my head up to look at him. One finger gently stroked up and down the underside of his cock while I glared at him. 

 

"Are you going to disappear and refuse to answer your phone again?" 

 

"No! I promise!" 

 

"Are you going to ride off and make unilateral decisions that affect us both?" 

 

"No, I swear, I won't!" 

 

"Are you going to do stupid, heroic things that no one asks for and which put you at risk?" 

 

He groaned under me, head flailing back and forth before he slumped a little and sighed. 

 

"...Probably." 

 

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. He was incorrigible. 

 

"Well, at least you're honest." Rolling my eyes, I climbed up his body before slamming myself down, impaling myself on his cock. He moaned from deep in his throat. Without moving, I began to circle my clit, not taking my time but ramping my body up quickly, driving towards orgasm. Sam moaned each time I clenched around him, trying desperately not to move his hips. 

 

"Sam," I managed to gasp out, feeling the heat building. "Do the enthrallment." 

 

He didn't have to be told twice and feeling the spell rock through me, I looked down in his eyes and gasped out. "Cum with me..." 

 

Fervently, I rocked my hips, still viciously rubbing my clit and after a few minutes of gasps and sighs, we fell into a pool of molten ecstasy together.


	19. Rain drowns the Flames

Morning came entirely too soon. Sam was a deep sleeper, but he didn't miss the sound of my phone chiming an alarm. As I jumped to smack it violently into quick submission, he groaned and rolled onto his side, one eye opening and an eyebrow raised in question. 

 

"Shhhh," I said, feeling immensely guilty for the lie I was about to tell. "I have an online chat for a group project, go back to sleep." 

 

Sam nodded and pulled me down into his arms for a sleepy kiss. He was sound asleep before our lips even broke apart. Gently, I disentangled his arms and slipped on a fur lined pair of black leggings, pulling a light pink sweater over my head. I tip toed over and grabbed my snow boots as well as fresh socks before sneaking out and closing the door behind me. 

 

Downstairs, the clock read 7:48. I hastily pulled my boots on and jogged to my SUV, sliding the key in and listening to the car turn over. 

 

I drove on autopilot, replaying all the events that led me to this moment in time. Life had knocked me to my knees more times than I ever wanted to remember. I had been broken, bent, and left empty. My soul had been shredded; my autonomy violated. My very essence had been dismissed and declared worthless by those who took what they wanted from me. So many times, over and over, control was wrenched from me. Too many times, I was made to feel powerless. 

 

Not anymore. Today, I was going to make a decision on MY terms. If death awaited me, I would embrace it. If pain was the price, I would pay it. Whatever was coming to me would come with my consent, my permission. I was not going to just lay down and take it again. With my resolve set, I put my car in park and exited to walk towards the Pink Lady Cafe. 

 

On coming in, I spotted Raphael at a back table. He was wearing a white sweater that seemed to glitter slightly in the light and had a mug pressed firmly between his palms, taking delicate sips. He waved briefly and I nodded in return before stepping in line to place my order. 5 minutes later, I joined him at the table with a vanilla latte. I noticed a half empty mug at the seat next to mine, the smell of heated chocolate swirling into my senses. 

 

"Did you get two drinks?" I asked, giving him a small grin. 

 

"On no, that's-" he began, before smirking slightly and indicating behind me. I turned in my seat and gaped at the sight before me. 

 

A man with a simple t-shirt and blue jeans was approaching our table, his lips pressed together and his eyes betraying his discomfort. He was lean and lithe, his hair black and tousled. His whiskey colored pupils rivaled even James' in their warmth and depth. Around his neck, hanging from a gold colored collar, was a sweet flower. When I had met him, his ears had been pointed and he always had a spear. 

 

When he reached the table, I gasped up at him. "Sae...?" 

 

He quickly interrupted me, his gaze shifting uneasily to Raphael. "In this plane, please call me Charles." 

 

"What, seriously? Like Princess Diana and Prince Charles?" I giggled while Saero looked confused. 

 

"What's funny?" he inquired. 

 

I laughed out loud before promptly ignoring him. "Raphael, why is he here?" 

 

Saero sank into the chair next to me and took a sip of his hot chocolate. Raphael smiled widely before reaching across the table to pat my hand. 

 

"Oh Babygirl," he said, eyes shining. "I had the most splendid idea of a solution for our little issue. Charlie here tells me that you and the lovely Demon Queen go WAY back." 

 

I shifted in my seat uneasily. "We've met a time or two." 

 

Saero snorted but looked properly chastised when I glared at him. 

 

"ANYWAY..." Raphael said loudly, making us both turn our attention back to him, "The Demon Queen has graciously agreed to offer Sam his place as a noble at court. Oh! Charlie, if you'd be so kind?" 

 

Raphael motioned for Saero to explain before hastily jumping up to get in line after seeing the cook bring out freshly baked double chocolate cookies. I rolled my eyes and turned in my seat to face Saero. 

 

His eyes lingered on my face for a moment, then he began to speak. "Sam can return as soon as he wishes. Eza...Diana has set aside a tract of land which houses a large manor for his use. He will be provided servants, gold, whatever he wishes. The Demon Queen feels strongly that she owes Sam and his brother's a debt of gratitude and she is actually quite happy to be able to repay it." 

 

Saero's face broke into a small smile before mumbling, "You could probably guess, but she detests owing anyone anything." 

 

I felt tears well up in my eyes at the thought that Sam would soon leave me, but I tried to swallow them down. It was for the best. "Charles, did Raphael tell you how we're going to convince him to take the deal and leave?" 

 

Saero opened his mouth to answer, but Raphael plopped down in his chair and interrupted him around a mouthful of cookie. "You'll go with him, of course. Isn't it genius?!?!" 

 

Raphael looked very pleased with himself but I know I must have visibly paled because Saero's hand rested in my arm for a moment. 

 

Turning to him with wide eyes, I murmured, "I can't go there, I'm a human! They'll eat me alive." 

 

Saero smiled kindly at me, patting my hand. "Hold on, that's not the whole offer." 

 

We both jumped when Raphael smacked his forehead and grimaced. "Right, I forgot to explain that bit properly." 

 

He swallowed, before leaning forward on the table. "Mika, if you went with Sam, the first thing that would be done is you would become a succubus, a daughter of Lilith. Since Lilith was once human, you can be changed and you are very fortunate to have a direct descendant of Lilith there to ease your transition. The Queen has agreed to this IF you and Sam are married within a week's time. That way, you can be offered somewhat of a demon version of an engagement visa." 

 

Saero turned to me, forcing me to meet his eye. "If you do this, you must understand it is permanent. You can't change back to a human, and you can't unbind your soul from Sam's after the wedding. You would be saying goodbye to this world and all the people in it. The other sons of the Demon World could of course visit on occasion, but none of your human friends or family would ever see you again." 

 

I bit my lip, a million different thoughts running through my head all at once. I couldn't seem to get my mind to focus on one thing at a time. I must have been quiet a long time, because I heard Saero clear his throat and I jumped at the sound. Raphael glared at him a moment, before focusing his eyes on me. 

 

"Babygirl," he said gently, his eyes betraying an emotion I couldn't quite place, "maybe you should go talk this over with Sam. This is, of course, his decision too." 

 

"Oh...right," I agreed absentmindedly. "Yes, I'll go... do that." 

 

I stood up with unfocused eyes and stumbled towards the exit. 

 

"Uhhh, Mika Sweetheart!" Raphael said loudly, panic in his voice. "Why don't you let me drive you home and you can come back for the car later, eh? You seem a little dazed." 

 

I managed to squeak out an "Alright," before my thoughts became fuzzy once more. Settling into the backseat of his little sports car, I daydreamed and considered my options. I thought about how I got here and what the future might hold. 

 

Life had been so fucking weird lately. I needed a vacation. I furrowed my eyebrows in thought. 

 

'I wonder if the Abysmal Plains has beaches?' 

 

\--- 

 

Something was poking Sam in the shoulder. It was pointy and irritating and he wanted it to stop. 

 

Sam smacked blindly at the poking thing and grumbled. "What...what's so god damn...STOP POKING ME!" 

 

His eyes flew open and he was so startled to see who was there in the bedroom, that his feet got tangled as he tried to stand quickly. He lost his balance and ended up on his ass on the floor. He cursed, loudly. 

The Nephilim stifled a giggle. 

 

Sam glared up at the man, moving to his feet to disentangle them and rubbing his back. "Whatdaya want, Raphael? Does Mika know you're here?!?" 

 

With a smirk, Raphael waved his hand dismissively. "Of course she does! She's just waiting downstairs for her exceptionally lazy prince charming to drag himself out of bed." 

 

Sam made a crude gesture as he pushed past Raphael towards the bathroom. "Bite me, half-breed." 

 

Raphael wrinkled his nose, sniffing distastefully. "No, thank you for the generous offer but, I'll pass." 

 

He sighed. "Do hurry Sam, and maybe put on a shirt. Not everyone wants to see you half naked all the time." 

 

The door slammed behind Sam and Raphael shook his head before heading back down to the sitting room. 

 

5 minutes later, Sam emerged from bathroom, scratching at his chest and yawning. He paused at his and Mika's bedroom and snickered before decidedly NOT putting on a shirt and heading downstairs. 

 

When he walked into the sitting room, his eyes immediately fell on Mika. She was chewing her lower lip, her feet tucked under her. Her eyes were unfocused and she looked to be deep in thought. Raphael was sprawled out of the couch as if it were in fact HIS couch. But the third person in the room made Sam stop walking and his jaw go slack. 

 

"What the fuck...Sae-?!?!" 

 

Saero interrupted him, saying loudly, "Ahhh, um, no. On this plane, please call me Charles." 

 

Sam's eyebrow quirked and the corner of his mouth twitched. "What, like Princess Diana and Prince Charles?" 

 

Saero sighed loudly. "Apparently." 

 

"Well," began Raphael, sitting up and clapping his hands. "Let's get down to business then, shall we?" 

 

Mika, who had jumped out of her skin when he clapped, sighed heavily and bit her lip again. "Okay," she agreed quietly. 

 

Sam had been moving towards the couch, but after glancing at Mika, he crossed the room to lift her up and sit her in his lap instead. She leaned into his neck and inhaled. 

 

Sam smiled softly before looking to Raphael. "I'm glad you're here. I actually made my decision." 

 

Mika stiffened in his arms before pulling back and furrowing her brow. "Well, about that..." she began, not meeting his eyes. 

 

"How would you feel," said Raphael, pausing for effect, "about getting married and -wait for it- LEAVING THE HUMAN PLANE FOREVER?" Sam sighed and thought how he could swear Raphael had studied under some sort of game show host at one point. 

 

He rolled his eyes. "We told her no before, I'm still not marrying the succubus, and I'm definitely not leaving Mika. Tell your boss she can have the Incubus." 

 

Saero glared at Sam and when he spoke, his voice dripped with venom. "Diana has no interest in marrying you, prodigal son." 

 

Sam met his glare incredulously. "Dude, you were mad when he was going to marry her, you're mad that none of us wanted to marry her! Seriously. Pick one. I've got whiplash." 

 

Saero's eyes burned and he looked ready to pounce at any moment. "I don't expect someone like YOU to understand the complexities of the situation, Brute. Do not speak-" 

 

"Marrying me, Sam!" Mika yelled, her voice a least 2 octaves too high. "You'd be marrying me." Her face was as red as a tomato and her eyes roved the room, never landing on anyone's face. 

 

Sam was not only confused, he was dumbstruck. "I... how would that... what?" 

 

Raphael leaned forward conspiratorially and Sam found himself mirroring the gesture unconsciously, at least as much as he could with Mika still perched on his knees. 

 

"Here's the deal." Raphael said. "You give up the human. We send you, Grumpy over there, and Mika to the Demon World." 

 

Saero let out a long-suffering sigh, but Raphael ignored him and continued. "When you get there, the Queen will be waiting, ready to walk Mika through the process of becoming a succubus. You two get married, Diana gifts you some land, some servants, what have you. And everyone lives happily ever after! Well, except Andrew, but no one seems particularly broken up about that." 

 

Sam shifted his gaze to Mika who was still determinedly not looking at anyone. "Mika, you don't have to do that! I would never ask that of you." 

 

Finally, Mika looked at him. Her eyes were watery and she took a deep breath before responding. "I know you wouldn't. But I would never ask you to rip away a part of your very soul when we can both stay whole and be together." 

 

Sam let out a frustrated grunt and squeezed her. "Mika, come on. This isn't just a different place, okay? This is..." 

 

"Irrevocable." She finished quietly. 

 

"Yeah." He agreed. "And what about your friends, your family?" 

 

Mika turned on his lap until she could lay her forehead against his. 

 

"I'm going to miss them." She said simply. "But I can handle that; I can live with that. I can't live with missing you. I won't, it's not worth it. And I need you to be whole and happy, not tortured and suffering for the rest of your days." 

 

Sam began to interrupt her, but she stopped him, speaking calmly but firmly. "You stole my decision from me when you went in my place to find out the price. I know you did it in love, but that doesn't change the fact that you took away my choice. Not this time, Sam. You love me and I love you, so you are going to let me have this, because it's fair and right. And if you don't like it, well... I don't really give a fuck." 

 

She smiled softly and brushed her lips against his, and he couldn't help but grin slightly. 

 

Everything told him to fight her, to rescue her. His instinct was tie her to the bed until she came to her senses and realized he wasn't worth this. But she was right. If he loved her (and God damn did he love her,) he needed to treat her like an equal. She deserved it. It could either be her gift to him, or he could steal her will away from her. He chose to take the gift. 

 

"Okay Mika," he breathed while his eyes danced through too many emotions to count. 

 

The couple was brought back to the room at the sound of Raphael clapping loudly. 

 

"Just beautiful," he teased, wiping an imaginary tear. "Don't worry, I already know... OF COURSE I'll be the best man!" 

 

Sam grimaced while Mika laughed and smacked Sam's arm lightly. 

 

Saero rolled his eyes before sighing loudly and slumping in his chair.


	20. Epilogue

5 Years Later 

 

The boys were here for their bi-annual visit and Aomaris hadn't stopped smiling. Coming to the demon world, marrying Aomaris, was the best decision I had ever made. James had been kind enough to handle the memory altering charms for the friends and family I left behind. While I missed them, it was a huge comfort to know that they weren't missing me and hurting because of my decision. Looking around the table at the family I had chosen, I was filled with love, even if it was tempered with a fair bit of irritation. 

 

Damien threw his hands up, looking annoyed. "I told you I didn't want to play!" 

 

Matthew scowled at him. "We're all playing. I just didn't expect you to cheat." 

 

Chuckling, Eric spoke in a hope to break the tension. "Brothers, this is getting out of ha-" 

 

"I'm not cheating!" Damien interrupted incredulously. "I can't help it that you think LOUDLY about your cards and do little victory dances in your head!" 

 

Sam guffawed. "Wait, he does mental victory dances?" He shook his head, smiling. "Awesome." 

 

Saero sighed loudly. "This is why I hate Poker." 

 

Matthew's cheeks tinted red. "I do not do that!" 

 

"Oh come on," said Eric. "Can't we just play a simple card game?" 

 

Damien pressed his lips together, glaring at Matthew. "You know you do the victory dance." 

 

James threw his cards on the table and rubbed his temples. "You are all a bunch of children, I swear..." 

 

Matthew pulled out a dagger and threw it, piercing one of Damien's cards on the table. "I said, I DO NOT-" 

 

"ENOUGH!!!" I shouted, slamming my palms to the table and standing up. "You see each other, all together, only twice a year! Why do you spend it bickering?" 

 

The boys studied their feet, looking properly chastised, except Saero (who snickered.) I fixed him with eyes that could kill and he quieted, clearing his throat and staring at the table. I could feel Diana to my right, shaking with laughter she was trying very hard to not let out. I bit my lip. 

 

"The lot of you, all of you men, go train!" I sighed, feeling a headache coming on. "Go beat the shit out of each other and don't return until you can... behave." 

 

I heard mutinous rumblings, but no one met my eye as they filed out of my living room and outside. As soon as the front door closed, Diana and I dissolved into giggles. 

 

"Oh gods!" Diana laughed, her voice lyrical. "You were born to be royalty, I swear. 6 grown demons, some of the most powerful in the Plains, and they all leave like puppies with their tails tucked." 

 

I snorted. "I have no idea how I managed to keep a straight face!" 

 

She wiped a stray tear from her cheek, her laugh slowly quieting. "Me either!" 

 

I met Diana's eyes and smiled. When we first arrived here, Diana had almost immediately gone through the ritual to make me a succubus. It had drained all of her and my own energy, but it had been a beautiful and overwhelming experience. As time went on, Diana and I spent more time together and I began to learn the reasons behind her actions. Diana could be mean and ruthless, but she took no pleasure in hurting others. She was simply prepared to do whatever she had to. 

 

What started as a tentative acquaintanceship had since blossomed into an almost familial bond. Diana was my best friend and the sister I never had. Looking at her today, it was hard to believe I had ever thought her cold and cruel. She was one of the warmest people I knew. 

 

She pulled out a sweet flower to share and gave me half with a smile. I thanked her and we sat in companionable silence for a few moments, enjoying the delicate taste. 

 

I sighed in contentment. "Aomaris is so happy when his brothers are here." 

 

She nodded, lightly squeezing my hand. "He is. I know he misses when they were always here, together. But they really do seem happy in the human world, don't they?" 

 

"Yeah, they really do," I answered. 

 

Diana nibbled at the fruit. "Sam, though," she said. "I don't think he would ever be truly happy there. He really is a demon, through and through." 

 

I smiled widely, nudging her with my shoulder. "I think so, too." 

 

"And you, my beautiful sister, you were certainly born in the wrong realm." She threw her arm over my shoulder and squeezed. I nuzzled into her shoulder a little and grinned. 

 

"I think you may be right, my Queen." 

 

I laughed as her face twisted into a grimace. "I hate it when you call me that." 

 

"Which is why I do it," I teased. 

 

Diana and I sat like that, cuddled together on the chairs for a long time. Finally, she broke the silence when she asked quietly. 

 

"I do wonder... do you ever regret coming here? Giving up the Human Realm?" 

 

At that moment, my door flew off the hinges as Matthew and Damien came rolling in, locked in a playful scuffle. Aomaris' body followed immediately, landing on top of them, yelling "Brother Pile!" James flew through the door, clearly not propelled by his own choice, and he landed heavily on Sam's back. Before James could scramble up, Eric's body crashed into him, forcing his to stay pinned. 

 

Saero walked calmly through the door, carefully avoiding limbs and shaking his head. Upon seeing Diana and I, he pouted, letting a long-suffering sigh escape. "Next time, I'm staying with you two." 

 

I shook my head back and forth, but my heart was warmed and full. "This is where we belong. No regrets." 

 

Her arm squeezed my shoulders again and I couldn't help but smile. This was my home.


End file.
